Childhood Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2011
Childhood Friend
Sun, 07-03-2011 - 4:54am

My childhood friend which I have known for more than 10years. We have had are ups and downs like every other friendship. I still to this day give her alot of my clothes that I cant wear any longer and just other things I have no use for anymore.Now we aren't " best friends" anymore, just because I have had a family of my own for quite awhile and my priorities changed when I started having kids, etc.... She was still able to go out and party, unlike me.We still keep in touch often, and we have always been there for eachother no matter what. Well, she just got married. I was invited to the Bridal shower and the wedding. I found out on the night before her wedding she had a "slumber party" with about 8 or so people that included friends from high school, co-workers, and a few of her most recent friends and the Maid of Honor. My feelings were extremely hurt and I was mad at the same time, because I wasn't invited. Now Im beginning to wonder if she even sees me as a friend at all. At this point I don't want to have anything to do with her ever again. I feel so betrayed......... Any guidance?

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 07-03-2011 - 5:17pm

I don't blame you for feeling hurt and angry that you weren't included.

But--You said that after you started your family your priorities changed whereas she was still able to go out and party. Maybe she was thinking along those lines when she decided the guest list. Maybe they were planning to stay up all night drinking and she figured that you couldn't sleep until noon then be hungover all day when you have kids to take care of? Since you two are old friends then hopefully you can tell her that you were hurt and felt left out, and ask why she didn't invite you.

Now that she's married, and may start having kids before too long, her lifestyle and priorities may become more like yours and you two might find more in common again. Perhaps you can consider this just another down in the ups and downs of your long friendship.

Just wondering about the part where you said that you give her your castoff clothes and other things, could she feel weird about that like you consider her a charity case or something?

Hope that you can find some peace with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Sun, 07-03-2011 - 2:17pm

IMHO, if you have a family of your own,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 07-03-2011 - 9:48am
That would have hurt my feelings, too. Alot.

I guess the message you got from it is correct... she must not see you as a friend.

Sorry this happened.