clingy friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
clingy friend
7
Sat, 12-18-2010 - 9:42pm

I had to talk to a friend yesterday about her being very clingy and dependent. To make the story short, Jody and I have been friends for a couple years. I don't want to sound rude here but I have been having a really tough time being around her lately. She really depends on everyone around her to keep her moods up. Today, she called me up and she was yet again upset because she said she senses that I don't want to hang out anymore. Well, her senses are right. How do I tell her in a nice way that I really don't want to be friends anymore? What makes this difficult is she is in 2 of my classes and we would still see each other almost everyday. One of the friends that we hung around with had decided that she didn't want to be a part of Jody's life anymore but when she did tell Jody, jody was very upset at first but not long after, she started lashing out and talking about my friend. I really felt like I was in the middle however, I now understand why my friend also went off Jody. Any advice on how to breakup with a friend would be appreciated. This is going to be very tough especially because I still have to see her in the classes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sat, 12-18-2010 - 11:58pm

How good of friends are you two? I ask because if your fairly close you should probably just talk to her about it first.Instead of just ending the friendship. Is it just the clinginess that bothers you or is there more too it? Cause if it's just the clinginess you could talk to her and maybe it's something she'll be receptive too and she could work on it.Without you having to end the friendship and having the akwardness of being in the same classes.Although overall I do think the situation will be somewhat akward and tricky regardless. I don't think there will be an easy way to go about it.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 12:26am

Is it possible to just talk to her about the problems that you have with this friendship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 2:20pm

If you want to end the friendship, tell her why in a nice way. This is be a valuable discussion for her and if she listens, she'll know what to work on when she makes new friends. This could also leave the door open for future contact if you are interested in a "new and improved Jody".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 5:12pm
So you talked to her the day before about her clingingness (sp?), and she called you back the next day to complain?

She's quite thick skulled then?

I'd just back away gradually, and if she keeps calling you, just don't be as available. Only answer every 3rd call, for example.

Sorry I don't have more advice, because if she called you the day after you had a talk, then she's really out there. And seeing her in your classes would be really tough, day after day.

Let us know what happens. (I have a sister named Jody, and I don't like her, either, lol!)



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 5:26pm
cat.alley wrote:
So you talked to her the day before about her clingingness (sp?), and she called you back the next day to complain?

She's quite thick skulled then?



HAHA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 6:52pm

Well, it didn't go well at all. Just what I expected. I told her that I wanted to take time away from her, she said exactly what I thought she would say "if you were my friend, you would not do this to me" then she started to cry (as I expected) no will power, nothing. I don't know if she realizes but she is going to end up pushing people away if she doesn't change. She has pushed me away because I can't breath with this type of personality. I can imagine what it is going to be like when I go to class, I am going to feel her steering down my neck. I feel I have done the right decision. I was really hoping she was going to take a time out and let me have a couple days to decide if I did make the right decision but she proved me right by acting like a child. I have never told a friend (and I mean never) that our relationship is over because my friends give me space and they would be fine if I told them that I didn't want to be around them anymore. These are the type of personalities that I like. The kind that don't fall apart when someone decides they don't want to be with them. I am also like that. If someone were to say to me that they did not want me to be in their life, not only would I say that is just fine, they would never hear from me. I want to thank everyone for the responses, I am glad I am not the only one that runs from someone clingy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 6:53pm