Confrontation Necessary?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Confrontation Necessary?
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 2:15pm
I cut ties with my family years ago when I felt betrayed over something someone said about my father and brother. I was just married a month ago, and my wonderful new husband told me my cousin and her friend tried giving them their telephone numbers on our wedding day. He said he was so embarrassed he just walked away from them.

It has been only 2 or 3 years that I re-established ties with this alcoholic, immoral family that cuts each other down constantly and am considering telling them to not contact me again, ever. I feel so much negativity towards them right now I can't even see straight. I just found out about this on Sunday when my husband told me about this event that happened on MY WEDDING DAY as we were on our way home from visiting this same cousin and her husband.

I am just sick inside that for one: someone in my family would EVER be so disgusting and disrespectful. Honestly, I never would have dreamed my cousin would do something like that.

And Two; I know he isn't lying because of our relationship and what we have been through together, he's not the kind of person to make something up like that.

( Also posted on the Toxic Relationship board) I'm just needing to vent though too.

I can't stop thinking " ewww!" and " Where do you get off hitting on my husband on my wedding day?"

I think about these people and I just want to throw up. I want to ask people here if they have ever dealt with an alcoholic family with no morals or class, who have been in a similar situation, and how they dealt with it.

Believe me, I am not a timid person and have no problem confronting people, however, I wonder if I would be overreacting. I dont know whether to confront it and bring it out in the open, or just quietly excuse myself again from these dysfunctional people, and live with their accusations of alienating myself from them, listening to people trying to throw guilt trips on me for the rest of my life.

People with no morals suck. Ewww

Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 07-26-2003 - 3:05pm
Hello, Sorry for such a late reply. I was on vacation and have been slow at catching up on all the posts.

Congradulations on your marriage. It is so good that you have a open and honest relationship. Make sure that you cherish it and make him your #1 family.

As far as your family goes. It seems that maybe you would be better off without them. Only you know the whole story behind your feelings but just one example is enough for me to think that you are better off alone. I wouldn't even confront anyone about it. Unless it is going to help heal a relationship or protect someone else from the same treatment, it really isn't going to do any good anyways.

So surround yourself with good friends and your wonderful husband and be happy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 11:49am
Sometimes, its necessary to cut off ties with family members. Just because you are "related" to someone, doesn't mean you have to associate with that person.