Daughter and boyfriend moved in with me"total nightmare"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Daughter and boyfriend moved in with me"total nightmare"
22
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 6:17am

My dd and bf have been together for about 2yrs. they lost their first apartment due to money issues,second apartment same thing,couldn't make the rent. dd worked ,bf worked and got fired from his place of employment ,and then he would work couple days here and there with his brother. dd was totally stressed out then and now! bf he seems to me to be not a real go getter,so anyway dd asked to move back home with me,my husband(which is her step father)and younger sister .i was thrilled,and releived to have her back home again,but theres one problem the claims he has no where else to go,could he move in to. I layed the rules

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

Welcome to the club.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

While reading your post, I kept saying out loud, "HOLY CRAP!"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Pack up the BFs things while he is away from the house, and place them on the front step.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Yeehaw! I agree!!!

OP: You have NOTHING to feel guilt about. You gave it a shot, it didn't work because of them, time to move on. I think you'll be so happy afterwards that you'll forget that unwarranted guilt.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

I wanted to add, based off of what you have shared.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011

Thank you to all for taking the time to reply to my delima, I now know that my gut feelings on this situation is dead on! lol everything you guys have said and suggested is basically what my gut feeling is to do. my husband (dd step father) and i are going to sit the them down tonight and talk with the two of them about this situation. i think it would be best to sit back let my husband do the talking,because he will make it more clear to bf to get lost,as calmly as possible. As far as what my husband(dd step father)has done so far in this situation,(he is basically a hot head)surpizingly ,he has been calm,from day one about all the drama(some of it i didn't tell him about) but he has a heart he really wanted to help dd and bf out. But the bf disrespecting me and saying some crap that he said pissed my hubby off (some of the comments i didn't even tell hubby about) in fear that he would of had this punck by the throat. I am going to move bf air mattress down put it on side of my living rm. and move my dd bed into the rm bf was sleeping in,so my youngest d will have her privacy and they won't b all packed together in the same bedrm . So hopefully bf is gonna get the messaghe loud and clear! but i think hubby is gonna give him couple of days to get his crap out,my hubby has been so great about everything,basically out of respect for me,i will keep ya posted

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004

Oh boy. That guy is really disrespecting you. He needs to be more proactive and get himself a decent job and a game plan. No situation is ever perfect, so he needs to get over it. Maybe you should tell the two of them "when you get your own place, you can do whatever you want".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

I hope you can mentally prepare for the guilt trips that will be laid on you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011

That guy is a waste of space. Not worth the paper his birth certificate is printed on. Give him thirty days to get out. If your daughter wants to go with him, let her go. Then change the locks.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You tried to be nice by letting dd move in and immediately she started disregarding the rules you set. That would have been grounds to boot her out back then. You keep trying to be nice and bf starts criticizing you and being disrespectful. That was grounds to boot him out on the spot, but you kept being nice. It sounds like you've bent over backwards to be nice and given them plenty of time to behave responsibly.

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