DD obsessed with men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
DD obsessed with men?
11
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 2:47pm

DD is obsessed to have a man in her life. Divorced 9 years ago and has had 5 boy friends until now. The repetitive cycle, first there are the best men on earth and as time goes by troubles start and no relationship lasts more than 2 yrs. She hardy knows them and let them enter in her house, bed, life and helps them financially. Guess if she could, she´d give them a bath and dress them as well.

One of the guys, when having trouble for money (that she gave him and later regret) Even threaten her to send some guys to hit her. (A very aggressive guy)

I worry for my grandkid that sees every two years a different guy in her mom´s bed and life.

Have asked when she´s is going to stop with this. She replies “Until I find the man I want in my life”.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 3:54pm

This sounds like one of my cousins. She had a baby at 18 and when the guy found out she was pregnant left her. She dated around for a while then married some random guy who turns out was married to someone else [I'm still confused how this happened]. Of course she "divorced" him after finding out about his other life. She moved around and lived with random guys meanwhile toting along her daughter. Now she is 41 and just had another baby with some random guy who doesn't want anything to do with the baby. Her daughter who is now 18 also just had a baby. My aunt throughout this time was not very supportive until more recently when she tried to become more prominent in my cousin's life. But I fear it's too late. My second cousin who just had her baby at 18, is angry at the world and all b/c of her mom [my cousin]. She felt like she was never cared for and she has the worst attitude about everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 11:57am

Tough position to be in as a mom, huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 11:59am

How does she seem to feel about the way she's living?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 12:00pm

Sorry for the double post.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 12:24pm

Unfortunately, there are people, men and women, who MUST have a significant other in their lives at all times. I have a niece who is like this...she's not been w/o a boyfriend since she was in grade school. It's sad that they feel they can't be alone in the world, even for a short amount of time, but I think we, as family, just have to find a way to be at peace with it and be as supportive as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 10:08pm

Thanks for your time to reply.

Well, once in a while she says she knows it´s not right what she´s doing. (When I make her think )But she also says she is an eternal optimistic and she always believes THIS time things are going to work well.

About counseling,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 10:12pm
I LOVED YOUR SENTENCE OF "TO BE AT PEACE WITH IT"

Thanks a lot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 12:46am

>>she also says she is an eternal optimistic and she always believes THIS time things are going to work well.

What's the saying....something like...doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of an idiot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 3:12am
WELL SAID!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 7:01pm

omg . . .how frustrating this must be for you.

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