Dealing w/family on Thanksgiving!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Dealing w/family on Thanksgiving!
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 9:42am
Hi there i have a family situation i need to vent about! Heres the jest of it, Over 2 weeks ago i invited my younger sister and mom to my house on Thanksgiving. They happily accepted even calling me back to ask what could they bring. My older sister was out of town at the time so i wasnt able to invite her in person so i left a message on her answering machine. Well to make a long story short, a few days ago my mom calls and asks me if i would be insulted if she went to my older sisters house for Dinner instead of mine, i was pretty shocked but to avoid a conflict i said "no" it wasnt a big deal, to make matters worse I hear thru my mom that my younger sister is also planning on attending my older sisters Dinner..(even after she had confirmed with me she would be attending mine)..I called her last night to confront her, she pretty much admitted that she wasnt showing to mine, and that she meant to call me. HOW RUDE! I told her not to worry about it, i was only upset that i had prebought a lot of dinner items and at least now i know. Turns out my inlaws whom gracously accepted at the same time are still coming LOl. Its pretty bad when you can count on the inlaws but not your own family!

So hears my question, my feelings were very hurt. Both my sisters and my Mom pretty much avoided my invitation, outright, even plotting another dinner behind my the same time i was expecting them. around the time i had invited my younger sister..she had asked if i would be coming to her house for christmas dinner. I graciously agreed..even though she lives in a very small house and can barely handle more than 4 dinner guests, I felt it was the right thing to do. She doesnt have any kids ..and im the only sister whom has 2. After being treated this way by my own family, i got to thinking that her house is the last place i feel i want to go for christmas dinner especially after the way i was treated. My husband says im making a big deal out of nothing but i dont agree. My thought was to plan x-mas dinner in advance at my home..and invite both families openly (knowing my half wont show;( Just to avoid a conflict with my sister's dinner) Has anyone ever encountered this kind of a situation? And how did you handle it? Its pretty bad when your own family behaves this way;(

Thanks For your Help!!!!!

Avatar for stacy257
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 1:01pm
Hi Southerngirl, I know that you are hurt because they all handled the situation badly. My first thought in reading it is that the sister and mom were put in an awkward situation of having to choose. I agree with your hubby, calm your feelings. It is only dinner. Be thankful to God you have your hubby and caring inlaws. The holiday is THANKS and GIVING. From my point of view, you are ahead 2-0. : )

p.s. use the extra food for after Thanksgiving!
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 2:53pm

I'm sorry that Thanksgiving has worked out this way for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 7:59pm
Since your inlaws have already accepted, what did you tell them if you accepted the invite to your sisters? Did you cancel on them?

If it were me, I would have told my sister and mother that they accepted to my dinner and I will be expecting them. I would have told my mom that she didn't raise me to be rude and cencel so you KNOW that she wouldn't be doing that to you. Then I would have held my holiday dinner with my inlaws. I would have enough in case my family showed, but would not have counted on it.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: