Death in the family update

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2002
Death in the family update
Fri, 09-27-2013 - 8:14pm

  I did not tell anyone except close friends that I may not go to this celebration because I was keeping an open mind if indeed people followed through and sincerely contacted me.    My cards to the parents and the widow were not acknowledged. 

At the begining of Sept one of my daughter's texted me that a celebration would be the 28th.  I figured more info would follow.  Last week  when I contacted my niecee for her correct address beause my card came back, she  asked me if I was going to my brother's  funeral. so I asked her for more information about it.  She said, it might be the 29th but she was not sure.  Absolutely no one  extended the courtesy to let me know about my brother's service. Was it my responibility to start chasing down the informationation?

Instead, yesterday I see a post on facebook about can't wait to see everyone, getting on the ferry, etc.   On my niece's post she tgged me as one of the ones getting on the ferry with her.   I want to comment with the following.  Because I think she should know this as well as all my kids who will see this. That no one let me know about it.  I did google my brother's name and found an announcement on his website. 

Please give your feedback whether ishould just do what i've always done, ignore it or say something ike this:

"Thanks for the tag. Thinking of you, too but I got no information by which to know to actually be there. Like when, where, etc."


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 2:33pm

Hi Karen, scanned the new thread and just wanted to throw out my two cents.

Okay, here is the deal.  I am passive-agressive, and so are you.  Kiss  I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but life happens and something else will surely come up in the future. 

Yes, if you were seriously considering attending the services then you would need to keep in contact with the necessary people.  When relationships are estranged, normal protocal doesn't really exist.  It was my understanding from your original thread that you were not going, partially because of the travel, etc.  It wasn't something you could easily pop in and sit in the back and leave. 

If you were seriously considering going, then you could have taken the initiative yourself.  If you really didn't want to go, that is a whole other thing, but your "test" is very PA, which again, I totally understand because I do it, too. 

Good luck with everything.  Oh, I didn't understand why you took issue with the FB post that you copied and pasted.  I know this all past now, but I have found that for myself, I try to learn from these experiences so I can grow. 

Serenity  CL making a second marriage work