Desperately need Advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Desperately need Advise
8
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 11:52am

What would you do? Help.. not sure I handled this correctly. Here is my story, I had my son and his wife living with us, while they were moving back from out of town. My son had to leave for about 4 months for work, which left daughter-n-law to live with us by herself. During that time she started to go out with a girlfriend, (she is 22 yrs old), she started gong with this girlfriend every weekend while our son was gone, and at first we didn't think anything of it, but then it started to

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:14pm

Are you SURE it was MAP?

How did you come to find this in the garbage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:27pm

Sunydays, Wow, That's a tough one. I have my son , DIL and my 5 year old GS living with me and my husband right now and she's pregnant. I would have been devastated as well if I were in your shoes!. I mean , your loyalties lye with your son and even tho you weren't going to say anything to him, (I don't know what I'd Do) I don't see where you did anything wrong at all.

I do think your son let his anger out on you because you are his soft place to fall and he knows that, and you

"IMAGINE" All The people, Living Life in Peace...................., "You may say I'm a dreamer; But, I'm not he only one." "Be A Dreamer and Imagine."
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:43pm
Having had some really rough patches with my DS-21 (what an understatement that is), I don't think your relationship is ruined with yours. She'll show her colors, and he'll need you. I'd sure be tempted to mail it to him, though!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:54pm

I'm going to agree with the others on this one

1) I think in time you're son is going to figure out WHO his wife really is....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 12:59pm
I seen her take out her garbage on Trash Day,lots of shopping bags, my husband was rooting through the trash looking for a receipt, seen the shopping bags, just looked in one of the bags, and there it was.
He then brought it into me, not knowing that those were her bags, almost accusing me.. I then realized those were her bags I seen her take out to the trash can before she left for work. Yes, and I do agree, we all tried to tell them they were to young to get married, they were 20 when they got married! So, you wouldnt tell you son what was found? I didnt even get that far, my son thinks we are upset because she was going out. That is what is killing me as well, I want to scream because she is making it sound like we are just upset because she went out, like I expect her to sit here and do nothing.. so, my son at this point, thinks we are idiots. Uh! ANd yes, Im certain it was the morning after pill, hell, it could possibly NOT be hers, but, I would bet my life that it is. But she wouldnt even talk to us, so, nothing was discussed. Thanks for your input, I truly appreciate it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 1:16pm

Oh, heck, I would tell him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 1:30pm

It sounds like her behavior is escalating, and soon enough it will catch up with her.

As for telling your son.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 1:44pm

I would tell him. Your loyalty is with your son and if he doesn't believe you, gets angry, etc... well, he's angry now anyway. He'll get over it, when he finally does decide to stop ignoring those big red flags.

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