devestation

Avatar for eliancat2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
devestation
2
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 12:43am
i have never posted on this board before, but i need help and thought this might be the best place. on mon. night, my family got a call from my brother, he was arrested for very severe charges (i don't know if I can specify here), and he is only 21, about to finish college. i suspected he may have been involved with this for at least the past month, but my parents didn't. well, he was arrested, and may be looking at long-term prison sentence if convicted. needless to say, my parents are devestated, as am I. I feel as if I'm practically an only child now. who knows when or if he can ever return home. I cannot talk about this to any friends, only my parents because of the nature of the crimes he has committed. i just don't know what to do. on top of our devestation, my parents and I feel almost a sense of isolation. how do you deal with a very close family member possibly being sent away for a very long time? i hope someone can help me or direct me to a place where I can seek advice. thank you
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: eliancat2002
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 9:38am
First of all, please allow me to convey my sympathy to you and your family. People don't realize when someone commits a crime, the family also become victims of this person's actions. Since you don't state what the crime was, I can only say that I hope he obtains a good lawyer. If this is his first offense, then again it just depends on the severity of the crime, the judge and/or jury (whichever way he is tried) may consider some type of consideration towards jail time if this was his first offense. Now, to you and your family. What you are feeling is common. You have been victimized by your brother's actions. You need to find a good family counselor and start going as a family. This will help you sort through your feelings. The counselor will probably want to see each of you separately and then as a whole group. If you do not have the money for this, call your local hospital. There are may groups out there who offer counseling services for those who cannot afford. Again, I wish you the best. Please let us know how you are.

Dream
Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: eliancat2002
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 8:22am
I know this is a troubling time for you and your family. I totally agree with Dream whenever a family member does something like this it not only affects them but also the ones that love them. I want to let you know that you are more than welcome to post here whenever you need to. We are here to help. I would try to seek out other local organizations and help meetings that deal with this sort of thing to help out the families. Again I am glad you found us and if you ever just need to open the flood gate we are always here. Michelle