Did I Do the Right Thing?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Did I Do the Right Thing?
6
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 4:07pm

I have this friend who is well, a drama queen. However, she has helped me through some tough spots and I never held her dramatic attributes over her head. However, I brought her to a wedding as my guest with the intention of having someone of comfort there which in retrospect was kind of silly considering the entier wedding was full of friends and great/interesting people. Anyhow, I bring her along and i was anxious the entire time and even more so when an ex boy friend walked in unexpectedly. I'm an anxious person by nature but kept it under control with her help. When i started to get com comfortable and when she started to hit it off with a few of my friends (taking pictures, sharing laughs, etc.) i mentioned to her i was going to say "Hi" to my former boy friend. So i did so and after some time, she came up to me and expressed how lonely she is at the party and doesnt know anyone and said she wanted to go home but she wanted me to wait for a cab with her. I said ok in a few minutes. Anyhow, time seemed to pass a lot faster than i thought and she came marchign in and unloaded all her anger and frustration on me in front of eveyone at the wedding, crying and throwing curse words around. I do take full responsibility for losing track of time but i also felt it was not 100% my responsibility for makign sure she had a great time. She was at a wedding of MY friend, not hers and because of her ourburst, i spent the entire nigth after she left calming down everyone. I am in no way attached to drama like this so it completely threw me and I didn't know what to do. Wherever this girl goes, drama follows and this time it was attached to my evening at my good friend's wedding. The next day i explained to her that i in no way was in the right and yes, maybe i should have been a better host to her but it is in no way acceptable to throw a scene at someone else's wedding. There is just so much to this story, it is difficult to keep to a minimum but that is the jist. Am i in the right for being upset with her? I currently have no intention of being close friends with her after that and i don't want any drama in my life at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2011
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 5:32pm

She maybe a drama queen and mental but she was also a good friend to you. You brought her along to make you feel comfortable and she did that for you.

You were rude to her. I think you owe her a big thanks for coming with you to calm your anxiety issues and an apology for not showing your gratitude by getting her a cab when her job was done.

Before you just write this friendship off, keep in mind that it can be hard finding good friends who will go out of their way to help you. Perhaps you could find a way to take the good with the bad. KNow in your heart that she is a caring and thoughtful friend with good intentions while being mindful of her emotional lapses in judgement.

Peace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2011
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 4:48pm
ElleBelle wrote:

I have this friend who is well, a drama queen.

 Wherever this girl goes, drama follows

If you knew this, then you took your chances inviting her. And if you didn't have anyone else bring, then you should've managed her better. It's your fault for bringing someone with drama queen tendecies and then leaving her unattended. You were asking for it.

Yeah, she was totally wrong to have a melt-down like that--no question. She has problems obviously. But she was your guest, and you were responsible for her. It sounds like once you realized you didn't need her there, you blew her off.  She probably felt used and slighted and she reacted like well, a drama queen about it.

You played with fire and you got burned.  You owe the bride and groom an apology for not managing your guest.