Did I react well to the "betrayal"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Did I react well to the "betrayal"?
6
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 6:10pm

Hello everyone,


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 9:07pm

Absolutely!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 9:20pm

Thank you for your reply. I actually did not go around repeating the rumours because I figured that I would be putting myself in the position of the petty person who came up with that nonsense. I also considered that maybe it was my friend who created these stories herself and just told me that someone else said it simply to see my reaction. In any case, I do not feel like I lost anything.

Yes I know that rumours can be dangerous to one's reputation but considering that we are no longer in close enough promixity to socialise with each other I don't even worry about the possible consquences. Enough time has passed and I have heard not a peep about these stories from anywhere (and my country and academic community is small so something would have popped up by now!)

Further to this the same friend had a habit of contacting my mainly when she had a question about something.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 10:05pm

These rumours are not petty, but I understand where you're coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 8:05am

Well done, you had no choice but to end the friendship, and without preamble.

A friend doesn't create drama and play games. A friends knows when lies are just that, lies, and helps, not hinders. You were used to create excitement.

Ex. years ago, when I was young and single....a male friend (and former apartment-mate) spread the rumor that we had slept together. A co-worker, whose husband worked with him, came to me...told me what he was saying and that I deserved to know...she wasn't even a friend, just a co-worker who had enough loyalty and responsiblilty to tell me, true or not, she didn't know. Naturally, I got right in his face and told him to fix it or I would. Sure enough, he came out and told everyone he had made it up.

The things being said about you were serious...and true or not, personal. A friend would have sought to help you through it, not leave you wondering in a country far from home. Dont' look back~

Best regards.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 8:55am


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 6:21pm

The fact that she didn't tell you but, as Mamas said, used for your excitment, would be the same problem I would have had with her.