Do I just let her go?

I can understand your point.

But in defense of your friend, she has a friend, based on her perspective; who is in an abusive relationship.

I remember your story well. (I once again can't make paragraphs, so hang with me.) Your fiance was rightfully very upset and worried. He reacted badly. I believe you when you say nothing like him throwing a ball has happened in 9 years. I'd be surprised if not a quite a few people on this board have busted a plate or something in anger. <<< Your friend has way overreacted and been no friend at all. Her constant going on and on about it to others is just weird, even if someone were involved in a terribly abusive relationship. I've had friends that were in pretty emotionally/alcoholic SO's relationships, but I didn't spread it all around. I cut ties with one friend, but I'd spent around 25 years listening to true stories of abuse. And her constant defending him. << In your situation, she's immature and not a friend.