Do I send presents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Do I send presents?
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 2:30pm
I have two cousins who have children close to the age of my children.

I am close to cousin #1, and I always send birthday and Christmas presents to her kids.

I haven't seen cousin #2 in a long time except in passing. She avoids all family gatherings. Some family members complain that they never get to see her kids. My kids haven't seen her kids in a few years, and it's been even longer for me.

I always used to send presents to her kids, but it's like sending presents to strangers. I don't know what they like or what they do. I usually have to quiz cousin #2, who is not quick to return my calls.

I just found out that cousins #1 and #2 never exchange presents. So should I just not send presents to cousin #2's kids? I don't know if they would even notice. I can't remember, but I don't think they sent anything to my kids last year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 3:58pm
You are never obligated to send gifts...ever.

And if you don't even know these kids well enough to make an educated guess on what they would like, then I would not bother.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store:
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 5:15pm
gifts should be given from the heart, and received with graciousness and appreciation. but how can you buy gifts for children you dont know, and for those who dont take the time to make your children feel just as special and thought of. my opinion would be to pass on the gifts

happy holidays

in the end be true to your heart and it will not lead you astray

Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 6:15pm
DON'T SEND PRESENTS. Send a card to the family if that makes you feel better, to remain in touch. It's up to them to send you one. If you don't get one, that's another clue, they don't exchange and don't want to be CONNECTED.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 8:20pm
I wouldn't continue to send presents to cousin #2 as it does not sound as though you are especially close to she or her children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 10:09am
Thank you to everyone has replied! I've decided to send a plain card to that cousin's family. I won't bother to send the holiday newsletter and photos, and I won't worry about gifts.