Do you tell family they are dysfunctional?
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|Mon, 11-07-2011 - 12:43pm|
I was wondering, have any of you tried to explain to your family how they are dysfunctional? Or exactly what dynamics and behaviors have hurt you?
Or would this be like beating your head against a wall?
My husband seems to think I should try to explain to my family how they are dysfunctional, so they can understand why I don't want contact from them right now. But I think if they could understand their dysfunction, and were nice people, they would have stopped being dysfunctional many years ago. For example, they would have sought counseling, or would have read books about it, etc.
I mean, how do you say, "You chose one child to be the good one, and one to be the scapegoat, and it was/is really hurtful." Or, "You should treat me with more respect." Or, "You are trying to control me and I don't like it."
It seems to me that they should know what they've done to hurt you (if it would be obvious to your average person), without having it explained in detail.
Is it okay to just avoid people because you want to and need to, without giving an explanation or justification?
What do you all think?