Don't know If I Should Speak At Ex Friends Memorial Service

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Don't know If I Should Speak At Ex Friends Memorial Service
8
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:15am

An ex friend of mind's son called me today letting me know his mom had passed and that

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2000

That is a good point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

I think people will attend to support her son because he is a great guy.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

What a shame, this whole story. I wonder if anyone will attend the memorial service, it sounds like she burned a lot of bridges and hurt a lot of people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

I spoke to her son today and learned that he himself is dealing with a lot of guilt as he too had not spoken with her in over two years. She had

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2000

I find it hard to believe that your ex-friend's son had no idea that you were no longer friends with his mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

You were friends for 20 years and in those years, you likely had a lot of good times. Since her son has been gone for so many years and doesn't know you were no longer friends, he is likely looking back to those good times that both he and his mother had with you. He's lost his mom...and if you're willing/able to help him deal with the loss by helping him remember good times then I think it would be nice for you to give a short POSITIVE eulogy that speaks of those good times and leave the bad times out. You can't change anything between you and his mother, but you may be the one who helps a soldier deal with the loss of his mother. He has given of himself as a serviceman, perhaps (unless you're REALLY uncomfortable about it) you could give some of yourself in service (and thanks) to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I might go and speak of the good times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
I would regrettably decline without going into details so he isn't burdened with too much negative information.

San