Don't know If I Should Speak At Ex Friends Memorial Service

You were friends for 20 years and in those years, you likely had a lot of good times. Since her son has been gone for so many years and doesn't know you were no longer friends, he is likely looking back to those good times that both he and his mother had with you. He's lost his mom...and if you're willing/able to help him deal with the loss by helping him remember good times then I think it would be nice for you to give a short POSITIVE eulogy that speaks of those good times and leave the bad times out. You can't change anything between you and his mother, but you may be the one who helps a soldier deal with the loss of his mother. He has given of himself as a serviceman, perhaps (unless you're REALLY uncomfortable about it) you could give some of yourself in service (and thanks) to him.