Elderly Father self destructing
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| Thu, 07-28-2011 - 1:42pm |
I'll try to keep this brief.
Two years ago, my mother died, and my father was devastated. He sought grief counseling, and my siblings and I rallied around him to provide support during his and our recovery.
Shortly after he begun counseling - 6 months after my mom died - he met a woman and quickly began a serious relationship with her. We supported him and encouraged him to exercise caution. Sadly, this woman came with a truckload of problems, insecurities, and truckload of unrealized expectations for a relationship with a recent widower.
Fast forward one year, and the woman has encouraged him to cut off contact with my sister and brother, which sadly, he agreed to. They are now engaged, and my father cannot have a conversation with me that doesn't involve reprimand for not being happy for his engagement, for not asking about their relationship.
The fiancee emailed me not too long ago (I hadn't seen her in several months), told me how disappointed she was that my family couldn't be happy for her, and therefore, she was calling off the engagement. She cc'd my dad on the email, and this was the first he heard of it.
- Where is the Great Active Old IVillage of 11 Years Ago Where People Really Interracted... 20
- So angry with my brother >:( 3
- Can't Deal with Mother and Sister! 2
- Can't Deal with Mother and Sister!
- setting boundaries with adult kids 13
- setting boundaries with adult kids
- WHY can't I let this friendship go??? 10
- WHY can't I let this friendship go???
- Sister + Wedding = ... 6
- Mother In-law Issues! 7
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There really isnt much you can do at this point.
My advice would be not to let her win.
If the father is systematically alienating himself from family, and it is becoming apparent that he is personally not responding to emails.
Yes, the police dept. is obligated to investigate any call coming into their office.
I'm a little unsure of the cops around here, though. I hope they would do their jobs like how you said. But I've had some of the most ignorant things said to me by these keystone cops..... seriously dumb stuff!!
I'm glad you told me their real duty.
I worked in social services, and have called social services for my elderly mother a couple of times. Once because my meth addict sister blacked her eye. My mother shut the door in their face the second time, and they never did anything either time, and never went back. I quit calling because my mother purposefully chose her path with my sister, and I can't fix her.
Cops out here sure aren't going to keep going to someone's house because they have alienated their family. Heck, it's a 45 minute drive to get out here from the sheriff's department. And they have a way of not doing their job. But, this new information is helpful to me. Thank you.
Just curious, what brought you to our board this morning?
Where I grew up, the police are quite diligent about welfare checks, especially with the elderly.
OP, are you still here? We had a regular poster who had a very similar story, and I wish she was still here..... I don't have much advice, but we're here to listen and do what we can to help. ;)
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