Elderly Father self destructing

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2011
Elderly Father self destructing
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 1:42pm

I'll try to keep this brief.

Two years ago, my mother died, and my father was devastated. He sought grief counseling, and my siblings and I rallied around him to provide support during his and our recovery.

Shortly after he begun counseling - 6 months after my mom died - he met a woman and quickly began a serious relationship with her. We supported him and encouraged him to exercise caution. Sadly, this woman came with a truckload of problems, insecurities, and truckload of unrealized expectations for a relationship with a recent widower.

Fast forward one year, and the woman has encouraged him to cut off contact with my sister and brother, which sadly, he agreed to. They are now engaged, and my father cannot have a conversation with me that doesn't involve reprimand for not being happy for his engagement, for not asking about their relationship.

The fiancee emailed me not too long ago (I hadn't seen her in several months), told me how disappointed she was that my family couldn't be happy for her, and therefore, she was calling off the engagement. She cc'd my dad on the email, and this was the first he heard of it.


Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 6:33pm


Hi. You don't say how old your father is...60s, 70s, 80s? How long were your parents married at the time of your Mother's death? What was your mother's role in their marriage - did she manage the household, finances, go to work?