The end of the road with my sister...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
The end of the road with my sister...
10
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 6:35pm

My sister Sacha* is older by 7 years due to the fact that our Mother almost died giving birth to Sacha. From the beginning we were two very different children, she was very talkative, naughty, tempramental and demanding while I was quieter, easy going, happy go lucky but more likely to get ill. I quickly developed a special relationship with each parent plus with my health problems they had to keep a close eye on me. Sacha very quickly made it clear that I encroached on her territory and ruined her ideallic childhood by coming along and repeated how she wished I was never ever born (I heard last year a couple of times). By the time I was 5 years old I had many scars left from fights and niavely walked into traps/trouble that Sacha would make for me so that our Mother (she was the disciplinarian in the household) would punish me thinking I did something on purpose. Around that time our younger sister Mica* arrived and Sacha this time was extremely happy to have a new sister. However, my parents by then became very aware of the issues between us and tried to intervene as much as they could but the endless bullying and fights didnt stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 3:57pm

Thank you very much cfk_3. Unfortunately, soul searching will take a very long time until my sister admits she has been very wrong, rights a wrong and changes her attitude. My other sister and I arent holding our breath at all knowing Sacha who views this confrontation as a 'betrayal' and a cause for war within the family.

Thank you very much shorty8383. I am really sorry that you have been cut off by your family for putting your foot down and that you went through a tough time with your younger sister. Hope that things work out well for you too....loads of hugs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 1:45pm
I agree with azure....I'm going through the same thing with my family.... my younger sister has hurt me so much through her words and antics over the past ten years...that I am choosing to keep her out of my life atleast for a couple of years... But bc of that fact my mother and two older sisters have decided to cut off contact with me....bc of the way I have to choosen to deal with my younger sisters... It's hard but I have found its just best for me right now.. hugs and hope everythings works for you! ;)
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 1:06pm
I'm sorry to hear about your parents. *hugs*

I think you did the right thing by informing her that you couldn't tolerate her bad behavior any longer. I hope, for your family's sake, that she is able to do some soul searching and change her attitude.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 6:13pm

Thank you very much azure 195 for your reply and I completely agree with you!There are some family members when you reach a dead end with them and their behaviour you are much better off walking away for good! I told my Father that I should give up and maintain my distance but when I found that it really upset him I backed off. Now in order to start fresh I know that I need to get rid of the toxic people in my life because its very necessary to do so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 4:46pm

Sorry for what you’re going thru, sumgirl09.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 4:25pm

Thank you very much cat.alley. I heard the same thing from my friends but I followed her blindly in order to reduce conflict at any cost.

I am still working on sorting out myself financially so I dont know what will happen next.

My furious sister Mica told me that life hasnt been easy for us as a family but that can never excuse Sacha's unbelievable bullying behaviour or her actions towards me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 3:00pm
Don't feel sorry for her. Feel sorry for people that deserve it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 2:55pm
I'm sorry for the loss of your parents....

Your sister sounds like the worst controlling witch I've ever known, maybe outside my own sister, but mine couldn't get anyone to follow her blindly like yours did.

Is she still paying your bills? If so, do you have an immediate plan for that?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 1:53pm

Thanks izzyandalexsmommy, I only lasted this long for my Father's sake who felt beyond frustrated and helpless in resolving this and wanted us to stick together no matter what. Plus, due to the fact that my Mom's side of the family is highly dysfunctional with a lot of of fighting and conflict, long term grudges(one person cutting off one person until they die) my parents didnt want a repeat over here.

However, I have tolerated so much that no one can blame me for how much I went through thanks to Sacha. I feel sorry for her with having no close friends or relatives because of her difficult, bitter,combative personality, that even acquaintances maintain their distance or walk away as soon as a nasty fight erupts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 12:03am

I have to admit.

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