Enough already!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Enough already!
17
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 11:47am

Last Friday, at the suggestion of a mutual friend, I received a fb message from a guy I went to HS with and have not seen in nearly 40 years. In the message, he suggested that we get together for "drink/food". Although I never had any romantic interest in this guy, after some consideration, I decided to accept. I mean, who knows, right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 11:21pm
Unfortunately, I'm still getting one or two texts a day. However, rather than asking me to meet up or pleading with me to respond, he seems to be journalizing! Just brief comments about whatever is on his mind--the fact that he has a cold, events he plans to attend, etc. What's really weird is that his last one (this morning), he told me that he wouldn't be attending the event as planned--and told ME to have a good time even though I had no intention of going. I really think he's lost in a fantasy world. Sheesh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 12:49am

I'm curous...has he backed off or are you still hearing from him???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 8:56pm
Thanks, freeatlast & cat.alley...and, cfk_3, I have to say that I think you nailed it when you wrote: "....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 5:32pm
freeatlast2008 wrote:

oh; My.. me thinks some of us are making this a bigger deal than what it is..


You're right about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 5:05pm
You didn't do anything wrong.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 12:26pm

oh; My.. me thinks some of us are making this a bigger deal than what it is..

Geezzzzzzzzzzzz.... I have had enough cyber stalkers and regular stalkers to last me a lifetime so maybe because I have experience in it. (no that i want it) I can handle this a bit in a more civilized fashion. Some people after awhile will just go away after you tell them to go away.. some will stalk for awhile and then you just block them and its done.. some will keep at and then its time to explain you are blocking them and to take the hint and move on..

This OP has done the right thing no matter what. They guy is most likely gone and she got some good feedback and its a done deal..Now unless he starts knocking on your door and sending you flowers then its starting to get creepy.

Take Care

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 12:16pm

If all this happened over the course of only 3 days, it’s all the more reason to stop interacting with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 11:20am

Azure--

Since all of this happened in a period of less than 3 days and it was the first time he had ever contacted me directly, I had no cause to block/unfriend him "a long time ago". I did not respond "a lot"--I only responded 5 times, 2 of which were before I had any reason to be concerned, 1 was to politely suggest that he stop texting by saying that I would talk to him on Monday, 1 was to tell him that I had changed my mind about our date, & the last was to tell him that I did not owe him any explanation of my whereabouts or my reasons for cancelling & to leave me alone.

You criticize me for reading his messages...but if I hadn't read them, how would I have known that there was even an issue? The moment I DID begin to feel uncomforable, I cancelled the date...when the texts continued, I told him to back off. Incidentally, in the meantime, I contacted the friend (who had suggested that he call me) and she said that he hadn't dated much, if at all, since his divorce & was probably just "socially handicapped". With that in mind, I did not wish to overreact. I mean, there is a big difference between being weird and being malicious.

Frankly, I came here asking for advice on how to proceed...not for a judgement on what I "could and should" have done had I been clairvoyant enough to know what was to come. As a matter of fact, I came here when I did so as to be prepared for how to handle the situation if he does contact me again.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 9:53am

I realize I'm coming in late on this thread, but for what it's worth, in my opinion, you've already given him all of the information he needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 5:47pm

he sounds like his mentality is still very much h.s.

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