Ex-Friend from Hell! She is a Bully!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2002
Ex-Friend from Hell! She is a Bully!
10
Sun, 12-12-2010 - 9:34pm

Hello everyone,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 1:19pm

This girl is very immature. Is there any way you could still be friends with Lauren and keep this girl out of your life? Being friends with sisters can be tough (especially if you fall out with one sister, the other sister may feel a sense of loyalty toward her).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 3:48pm

Unfortunately there are many women like this former friend of yours who never move beyond the high school mean girl phase. I really don't understand why this is. I'm in my 40's and still deal with women in my age range that pull these stunts. I have friends that put up with them though so I can't cut them out of my life entirely (although I'd really like to!!).

At least one woman I hide on FB. You can hover your mouse over a post of hers and select "hide all by xyz" or you could block her under your privacy settings...that way you won't have to see her comments. And if you block her, she can't see your profile or any of your posts, including those you send to mutual friends. If anyone mentions her having posted something I can honestly tell them "Huh, I didn't see that".

And you are right on with your assessment of her friendships. She must be deeply unhappy to still be harping on about you 8 months later. That's pretty extreme.

http://www.paganedge.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 6:05pm

Unless you stiffed someone for hotel, airfare or plans in vegas

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2002
Tue, 12-14-2010 - 2:05am

Hi all!

So I checked my Facebook today and there she was...on our mutual friend's wall, she wrote something about me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 12-14-2010 - 12:05pm
I hear ya' on the issue of bullies! It's like teens today don't get a break from it...with the internet and mobile phones/texting, they can't get a break from it unless they disconnect themselves...which would further isolates them. The recent spate of bullied gays committing suicide is shameful in a modern civilized society. I didn't want to say anything about your mutual friends before, but it drives me crazy when people don't speak up. I'm wondering why they allow her posts to be on their walls. That's something I would delete if I were in their position. I understand Lauren has to walk a fine line as Jennifer is her sister...but the others??

Anyway, I don't blame you for wanting to keep your distance from Lauren at this point.
http://www.paganedge.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2002
Thu, 12-30-2010 - 8:50pm

Hello all! So continued from the ex-friend of mine from hell!

I just checked my Facebook last night and I was looking at one of my friend's profile and there she was...Jennifer.

According to the wall posts, I could tell the girls are going to Vegas again, so Jenn posted a comment on our friend's wall saying, "one more month, I will be in Vegas again!! I wonder if Rebecca (my name) booked her room yet? Oh I forgot she doesn't have to." She is so juvenile!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 12-30-2010 - 9:35pm
Never mind. I've lost my mind.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 12-30-2010 - 9:46pm
She's a jerk!

I also hope you don't have anymore drama with her. And Happy New Year to you, too!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 12-30-2010 - 10:26pm

Now that is

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 11:33am

Hi,

Here's my two cents.

First of all, this woman is a loser through and through. You just happen to be her latest target for her pathetic attempts to deflect attention away from her poor life choices.

You may have to minimize contact with her sister to avoid her intruding on your life. Her sister knows the truth about Jennifer but you always have to remember that blood is thicker than water. So be choosy about what you discuss with your true friend so it doesn't get back to Jennifer. If Lauren isn't capable of honoring your privacy then you'd be better off to not continue the friendship with her.

The other way I'd suggest you reduce this woman's ability to get to you is to minimize the time you spend on Facebook. That way you don't expose yourself to her toxicity. (She counts on you reading what she posts and even though she can't see your reaction to these posts she wants to think she "got" to you. And, if you're relaying how you feel about these posts to her sister, well, guess what? Jennifer is getting her jollies.)

Also, when someone makes disparaging comments about someone else, I always avoid that person in the future. 1)I know it's not the other party whose really causing the issues. 2)If that person will say nasty things about anyone, then they'll say them about you eventually. Who needs that kind of "friend?"

Oh, and one other thing, Facebook is cool and a neat way to get connected to people. However, you need to recognize that technology is not friendship. I can have 200 people on my "friends" list but I only consider TWO of those people to be truly friends. The rest of merely acquaintances. I don't spend time with them outside of the occasional note or exchange and I really don't want to know every detail of their lives.

Our definition of friendship has been distorted by technology. Those I count as "real" friends have been in my life in "person" much longer than they have been as an electronic communication. So think carefully about how you define friendship and recognize just because you communicate with someone in a certain forum doesn't mean their "real friends."

And the only other thing I'd say to you is this: Don't ever let someone "set you up" with a date, especially someone who has shown herself to be a manipulator, abuser, and a person who isn't capable of making good choices themselves. Jennifer was trying to manipulate you by setting you up with people. When you declined to follow through and refused to give your phone number to one individual she then tried to use that person to manipulate you by giving him your number. And, by the way, just because someone texts you doesn't mean you have to reply. Just like a voicemail you can delete it without response. Most people with a brain won't keep trying to talk to you. They move on.

Good luck and learn to make better choices about who you share your personal friendship with. There's lots of Jennifers out there and they will keep finding people to abuse. You need to decide not to be one of them.