Ex-SIL

I agree with the other response on laying ground rules about calling first and asking but I don't agree with turning the kids away JUST to send a message to the mother... what's more important here, her behavior or how it influences the kids? These poor kids have a mother who clearly doesn't want them around and a father who I assume works full time and can't always be there for them. How do you think they feel when the people their mother pawns them off on turns them away too? If you're genuinely busy, fair enough - but if you care about the kids, don't do it just to send a message to their mother because this isn't really about her, it's about the kids. Especially times when they're sick... if you had turned your niece away, she would have had to go to school sick. Yeah, her mother is a sorry excuse for a parent but what's important is that she had a safe place she could go and be taken care of when she needed it.