Is Facebook now the replacement for private news?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Is Facebook now the replacement for private news?
8
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 9:21am

My niece is pregnant again, and announced it on FB.  We are close and I wished she would have told me in private instead of me having to read it on FB.  Am I wrong?  Should I approach her or just say congrats and move on.  I don't want to make a big deal of it but, quite frankly, I am hurt.

Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 10:49am

This is pretty much what young people do now--announce everything on FB instead of having to call everyone separately.  I hope she told their parents on the phone but I don't know--how many people would she have to call in the family?  Does she have siblings, how many aunts & uncles on both sides, their close friends, etc.?  Please do not make a big deal about this--just say congratulations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2012
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 12:03pm
Facebook is a great way to spread news, but I really wish that people would realize that big news like this should be shared personally with family and close friends. It is hurtful when you find out the same way a casual acquaintance finds out. :/
Avatar for lizmvr
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 12:04pm
I agree with Musiclover. I don't really see the announcement on FB as a big deal. You saw it, and it would be mean spirited, in my opinion, for you to ignore it and not wish her the best just because she didn't tell you individually before sharing the news with others.

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2012
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 2:17pm

So, I'm currently on the flip side of this situation.  I'm pregnant with my 2nd (although I'm not a "young" mom), and after telling a number of close friends and family members in person, we put together a cute announcement and posted it to facebook to let everyone else know.  Although between my parents, my husband and myself, I felt like we had informed all of our "close" friends and family, there were still a few family members who were upset that they heard about this on Facebook.

For my husband and I, the announcement was made because we are very excited about our 2nd child, and wanted to share that excitement with the world.  We both work full time, travel a lot for work, and when we're in town, we're very busy keeping up with our older child's activities.  I didn't have time for a phone call to every aunt, uncle, cousin and friend, so Facebook was a great solution.  I think rather than worry about this, you should be excited for your niece.  If you have kids, I'm sure you're aware that pregnancy is stressful and hard enough without family drama adding to that stress.  Since you say she's pregnant "again" I assume she has at least a couple kids at home who she's already busy enough with.  If you can remember back to having young kids, there isn't always time for phone calls and emails, sometimes you have to just do the best you can - and for her, that was sharing her great news in a way that could reach everyone that mattered to her as easily as possible.

Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 3:06pm
I think it's becoming the standard. How many aunts and uncles does your niece have? I have a lot of siblings and was glad when my mom helped me spread the word. It gets very tiring when you have to call 20 people to announce it. I can see why you are hurt though if you are close. Maybe she wanted to spare others feelings by just doing one announcement instead of stressing that you forgot to tell someone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 3:25pm

vmsh wrote:

My niece is pregnant again, and announced it on FB. We are close and I wished she would have told me in private instead of me having to read it on FB. Am I wrong? Should I approach her or just say congrats and move on. I don't want to make a big deal of it but, quite frankly, I am hurt.

Any thoughts?

I don't know. I announced this way, but we did call family too. I think though, more than you realize, people consider internet people to be family. I have a lot of online friends, some I am really close with and know more about me than my own sisters. I don't think they look at it as sharing it with aquaintances and family on FB, they are just sharing it with everyone. KWIM?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 7:42pm

Wow.  A lot of great responses here.  Gives me a lot to think about.  She has one sister, not close to anyone on her stepfather's side but me, and about 5 aunts and uncles, and other cousins on her mother's side.  I guess I had better get used to this FB broadcast biz.  LOL.  I come from a different era, where there was NO internet, then no FB.  I'll congrat her, but via private message on FB.  thanks everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 10:05am
I don't think it's really that big of a deal. Really, how is posting a Facebook announcement any different than mailing out a "we're expecting" note in the mail? If I was making a pregnancy announcement, I'd probably just tell my parents and close friends, then everyone else on Facebook.