Family disowned me
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Family disowned me
| Tue, 04-22-2003 - 1:35pm |
I recently told my Family that I am living with a man. The problem they have with this is that he is Black and I'm white. Not only that I told them I was pregnant which I was until recently (I lost my baby at 5 months). I have not received any phone calls from any of my 3 brothers or my father. Actually my father yelled at me (I'm 31 years old and have been supporting myself since 18) so I hung up on him. I'm not a child. I know what I'm doing with my life. None of them know that I lost my baby. I'm not calling any of them because I feel that I have done nothing wrong.
I love my boyfriend and know that he loves me. We will try to have another baby as soon as we can.
Is there anyone else who's been through a similar situation, if so how did you deal with it?
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Im the black sheep in my family for many reasons but I remember when my one aunt called my uncle (her brother) and told him Brenda is dating a foreigner. I mean DH is a German for goodness sake. Its not like my uncle was sympathetic to her because his wife is German and he has lived in Berlin for the last 40 years. Im sure my aunt would have had a heart attack if he was black or blue or green or had jaundice and was yellow.
I say you are an adult. You love him, he loves you. You want to have a child/children together. Go for it. Form your own family, one that is accepting of others regardless of skin color. Keep your family informed and maybe one day they will come to their senses and see that they are missing out on you and your wonderful family.
I wish you all the best! (((hugs)))
Families are supposed to love each other, support each other, and help each other.
I've never been through what you are going through, but it does sound like you are better off without your relatives. They are controlling, manipulative, and racist. That looks like 3 strikes to me.
It looks like you are one of the many unfortunate people who were born with bad relatives. You are definitely in good company though because there are a lot of people with bad relatives. The good news is that family doesn't have to be just people you are related to. Family is where you find it - friends, relatives, coworkers, neighbors, people at church, or wherever.
So I say, do what you know is right, live your life the best you can, and to heck with bigotted, judgemental people - relatives or otherwise.
Of course if there is a real reason for someone to cut off all contact - like they were horribly abused as children and their parents aren't people they choose to have in their lives - then it's a different situation.
So, I can see that your parents are prejudiced. You have to make a choice also. To be w/him, and live happily ever after, or compromise with your parents and go by their rules.
Give them time, maybe they will turn around and accept what lifestyle/family you end up, if they knew YOU'RE TRULY VERY HAPPY. I'm sorry, but they're hurting as much as you. Sometimes it's hard to see it their way. When you become a mother with teenagers, you'll understand why they act the way they do. It's called TOUGH LOVE.
P.S. My parents weren't going to allow me to get married to someone who is white. I'm Asian. I was also too young to get married (21), but for 25yrs. I've done nothing but prove them WRONG. They're glad now that I did.
In a case that the guy is abusing her, well one day she will realize and then what? She'll need her family for support. I kind of understand in a way because I have a friend who is in an abusive relationship and sometimes I lose patience with her cause I see what she goes through but I'm there for her when she needs me. I'll stand by her. Unfortunately most ppl don't care enough.