family feud.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2002
family feud.........
1
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 4:52pm
I don't know where to start but I will do my best to explain. My mother,sister & my sisters husband & there 4 kids all lived in the same house at one time for many years. Recently mom moved out & got her own place because she just couldn't handle the yelling & screaming & stuff that was going on there, plus there was money issues to. My sister started disrespecting mom. Before this my sister knew my mom wanted to get out & get her own place but she didn't think mom would do it. When my mom was moving out my sister took some of mom's stuff that was old & of centimential value to her & hid the stuff so my mom wouldnt be able to find it. We went over with the police so my mom can get her stuff. Sure enough my sister had my moms stuff in her bedroom closet after she lies to me over the phone & said she didn't have anything. My sister is still married to her husband & they still live together & she even has a boyfriend on the side. The husband is too dumb & doesnt see whats going on. My sisters kids don't like this boyfriend either because he is controlling. The kids are always over moms house because they don't like there mother or the boyfriend. She doesnt care about the kids feelings she told them they have to except this guy. She yells & screams & picks on them for no reason. My sister wrecked an entire family just for this guy. My mom loves her grand kids but she needs quiet time to & she doesnt say no because she feels bad for them & the situation there in. My sister isn't showing a very good example for the kids with this boyfriend around & still being with the husband. The husband wont leave because he has no place else to go. Now my sister & mom arent on talking terms. They go through the kids to communicate. My sister wont talk to me either because I helped mom move out. This boyfriend tells my sister he has all this big money stashed away & mom & me think he is full of it. The car he drives & the way he dresses don't look like he has a lot of money like he says.He doesnt even work. My sister believes these stories from him. She doesnt see what a mistake she is making. I wish there were a way to fix this !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 8:47am


Here is my take on the situation. Your sister doesn't sound like she is of the greatest character. Lying to her mother, cheating on her husband, I mean come on! However I must say that unless your mother is not capable of working or caring for herself then I see no reason she HAD to live with them so I say good for her that she moved out! I don't think I'd want to live with grown up children in an unhappy marriage and 4 kids either. Then again I am not a mom or grandma so I can't really say. It totally freaks me out that your sister's kids KNOW she has a boyfriend and they have met him. What is up with that? Why are she and the DH still married at ALL? I don't believe anyone could be that dumb. Also I think its terrible the kids don't like their mother or her bf and have to keep going over to the grandma's, I mean for crying out loud where's their DAD? Why doesnt he divorce the mom and take these kids, if she is a bad or abusive mom to them? I know u said he has no where to go but there has to be some way even if he gets assistance or something, the mom should be paying child support if he leaves and takes the kids just like it would be if things were reversed. That makes me really sad for the kids and also the grandma who sounds like she winds up taking over her adult son in law and daughter's responsibilities. Also I can respect the grandma/your mom wanting to keep in touch with her grandchildren and all but communicating thru them to their mom, is teaching them BAD things like that it is ok to do that. That is so not cool! Basically I think that u and your mom/the grandma can't REALLY do anything because your sis and her husband are adults and they should be handling all of this. I understand it's a lot harder to think that way because of the FOUR KIDS. I wish I knew what to tell u but really I think it's all in the hands of those 2 (sister and her DH). I am not pointing the finger just at her husband because SHE is the one having an affair but honestly, it sounds like its ripping their family apart and hurting the kids and putting stress on your mom/the grandma, and to me your sister's husband needs to step in and be an adult and put a stop to it, instead of acting all "in the dark" Whoa sorry this has gotten so long! I am just trying to get a grip on that whole situation and what's going on with it. I hope it works out for them somehow or another! Rhiannon