ok, this is going to be
How long since your MIL passed?
Are you sure that your FIL is the dominant one in the BDSM relationship? It sounds like she rules with an iron fist. Does he even care that removing all his late wife's stuff is going to hurt the kids? How old are the kids? If they are grown up and out of the house, they should take all the stuff.
Thank you for your replies both of you. This has been so weird! FIL was wild when he was young but this is too weird! I was prepared to take the high road here and say consenting adults but deep down I was NEVER comfortable with the idea. It was "ick" with me (and why do people want to do BDSM anyway? A woman wants to be hurt and be subsmissive is her idea of love??? Yuk)
Wild as in smoking and drinking and chasing after women when he was in med school and he stopped after he got out of school in his late twenties/early thirties. Then he married and stayed married until he was 50 and then this weirdness started. His father was wild too but he became a real pain. FIL told me when he was young his father caught him doing something illictprobably an affair) and beat the crap out of him. Then came back a little while later and plied FIL with gifts and was laughing and on like nothing had happened! FIl caught up with him later and almost beat the crap out of him. His father said years later that he knew FIL would come after him and do that. *eye roll* crazy family. Turns out this wealthy family didnt like FILmarrying a woman who cleaned houses for a living! Felt FIL's problems came from this poor woman causing him to fall in love with her!(even though his grandfather married a maid and father married money when he was poor due to his father thought to be without money.Man,I could write for soap operas with this stuff. *sigh*)
Glad to hear that you think FIL should stay away from crazy woman with her dramas. I agree.
It sounds like your FIL wants to be a decent individual, and also respects and cares for his late wife.