Fed Up with my "Best Friend" (kind of long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Fed Up with my "Best Friend" (kind of long)
13
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:25pm

The woman that I consider my best friend has been a part of my life for over 10 years, and I consider her family.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

Good post from keepingitreal1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2010
A good friend may not always understand where their friend is emotionally but will accept them where ever they are. Something has changed with your friend. She doesn't respond to you the way she used to. Relationships are give and take but putting expectations on anyone on how they prove their friendship can be very difficult on the friend that can't live up to those expectations. They will pull back because they know they can't live up to your expectations. Accept her for where she is at in her life and love her for it if even from a distance. She isn't coming to you making demands. That would be different. You spoke to her when she was upset and scared about her power being shut off. You offered her money to help and that was a kind and loving thing to do. However, if you had expectations from her because of it, that was a strings attached kind of help. If there are strings attached, it loses is generosity. All strings should be told up front. Both have to agree or someone is going to be very disappointed. I know it hurts when friendships change. Be the kind of friend that makes you feel good and get rid of the expectations from your friend. If it isn't a friendship that enhances your life in any way, let it go and move on. You will have some grieving. Just know it, feel it, and you will be so much better for it. Just do it with love in your heart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2010
I made my last post from my own experience. I had a very long time friend that saw our friendship as a commitment of time to each other. I went through a time in my life that was chaotic and I couldn't meet her expectations. I knew she judged me and our friendship by my not being able to meet her expectations with my time. I pulled away. We are still friends many years later but that friendship we had before was gone. I didn't want the pressure of trying to meet her expectations when I had so much on my plate at the time. It was one more responsibility on a pile of responsibilities and I just couldn't handle it at the time. I also didn't like the feeling of being judged for not measuring up as the friend she thought I should be.

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