Financially dependent on your parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2011
Financially dependent on your parents?
10
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 4:16pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 10:23pm
Are you in this situation?

Are you looking for a plan of your own?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 2:23am

Being my blunt self...Nope...I've been financially independent from my parents since I was 19 years old, and I'm now 61 years old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2011
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 2:41am

I'm in a half-in half out situation. my parents are helping me with tuition so I don't end up with a ton of student debt. I'm am doing more than a full load of credits and because of my parents being well-off I am inelligible for many forms of financial aid. My situation is interesting (and fairly common, I believe) because this assistance comes with requirements. Outside of the basic and expected "get good grades, don't do drugs", for a long time i was not allowed to have roommates, date, or have a full time job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 9:31am
I'm not in your situation but I have to support you and your parents in this. You're right that it's not the best of situations for you BUT it's the best situation for you. Your parents are trying to ensure that if they're putting up the money you're going to stay focused and succeed. The restrictions are strict but those restrictions are definitely ones that distract you from your focus.

You're lucky because in this economy a solid college education is crucial and you will be afforded all the opportunities going forward. I think more parents should adopt this process.

Just keeping learning and before you know it you will be finished and looking toward your future. Don't even listen to anyone's judgement...they're just jealous!!

Good luck!!

San
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 4:03pm

As for what other people say, I would try to ignore them. Its always easy to criticize others and it doesn't necessarily reflect the entire situation.

Your current situation of not working raises the concern that you are not building any kind of work experience and related resume. At the least you should have volunteer experience in your field. It shows that you can manage your time, relate to people outside of the academic environment, and can be a good way to build a network. It is also a valuable way for you to get a better sense of what type of work you want to seek when you have graduated. Depending on you major there may even be paid positions in your field that would allow you to work PT, on or off campus.

Imagine an employer trying to decide between 2 candidates with identical GPAs, acceptable personalities, etc. The employer needs to then look at what else each candidate offers or has achieved.

You didn't indicate why your parents forbid you to work. It does sound like you are carrying such a full load that it would be hard to add work hours to that but you know how demanding your classes are. If you think that you can handle a PT job then point out to your parents the ways that it could help you in the future.

BTW we paid most of our ds' college expenses; all of the tuition and a stipend that would allow him to live very frugally. (and some of his friends said that he had it too easy, but he also knew plenty of students whose parents paid for everything) We wanted him to work about 10 hrs/week for a number of reasons. Those positions, first for credit and later for pay, have proved very important to him in the years since graduation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 2:18am

This explanation post completely changes my viewpoint on your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 2:59am
My parents paid my way through college, with apartments, vehicles and all living expenses. That's what they wanted to do, and that's what alot of my friends' parents were doing, too.

Your parents rules are controlling and over the top. You weren't clear on whether you actually would be cut off if you took a part time job, or went on a date.
Do you live with them? Or near them?


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 9:30am
Why would she want to disrupt the apple cart now that she only has 1 year left?? Her education is priority and if the terms are over the top she's lasted this long. If she challenges them now she's looking to destroy everything that matters.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 12:32pm

I totally agree with Music.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 3:25pm
Sometimes it's not easy to tell who you're replying to. Is it me?