Formal Attire Invite - UGH, can't afford
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|Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:26pm|
I'm a little bothered by a recent wedding invitation DH and I have received. Growing up, my mother had a good friend who was single without any family but a young daughter. She had asked if anything were to happen to her that my mother would take her in, we also used to baby sit her and travel with them. They are still good friends with us and the mother attended my recent wedding, her daughter wasn't able to. She has grown up now and is getting married in December. I've known for quite a while that the wedding is in December, was looking forward to it and planned on attending, but never heard a word of it being formal. The invitation came yesterday and it reads "formal attire". I really have a problem with this, as renting a tux is over $100.00, I would have to buy something formal, and besides the wedding is outside in a gazebo at 4:00. We were looking forward to going to the wedding, but this sudden expense of formalwear really gets me. Plus, it bothers me that it isn't even at the formal time (after 6) and it's outside, not even in a *nice* place. (Her mother, by the way, has recently been diagnosed with cancer).
My wedding was last year and the bride's mother attended my wedding along with her boyfriend. They, by the way, were the only ones not in semi-formal wear. The restaurant I had my reception at had a dresscode of jacket and tie for men. This wasn't imposed by myself, but rather the restaurant, which I informed everyone of ahead of time. It was a small wedding and everyone was asking me what everyone was wearing and all the women ended up wearing evening gowns and cocktail dresses, all the men were in suits and ties, except them. They didn't even send a gift.
But despite their lack of effort, I want to be more thoughtful, but the cost of getting formalwear isn't in my budget. (My DH has cancer and we have a lot of bills this year). So I don't know what to do. Not go? Go, but not dressed up? I think that would be awkward as she has said on her website, "I want everyone to look hot!" (OK, whatever)And she had told me she wanted men to rent tuxes (I thought she was joking). I don't want her and her friends snooting us for being so out of their loop and potentially embarrassing the bride. I really have other things to worry about right now rather than someone's wedding attire.
Please help! Thanks so much.