Friend makes Presumptious Statements about things - then waits to see if I refute or confirm them...

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Friend makes Presumptious Statements about things - then waits to see if I refute or confirm them...
35
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 11:48am

This is obviously dirty --- it is to get information.

Trying to get away from this person, but prob. gonna run into him on occasion.

WHAT do you call this?

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999

Sorry, I'm a bit confused...Where is he making these presumptuous statements?

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

Not enough info, give some examples of things he has said.

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
ie. Most recently he said a number of items & slipped in that "My hub & I were getting along."....and then a few other things. How would he know we were/weren't getting along? Hadn't talked to him in weeks. He has no way of knowing, He was fishing.

It's hard to think of examples, but this was recent & a clear example that I can remember. Ideas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004

I would probably disengage from

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sounds like he's just nosy and like you say, fishing. I'm not sure I would call it unethical but certainly rude and annoying. I'd just ignore it so he doesn't get what he wants.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999

A good stand-by response to a nosey question:

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
He is our neighbor - whom we USED to trust. Been trying to disengage from him, but sometimes he catches me out in the front yard......
Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Another example:
We USED to trust him - thus he had a key to our house - Or really his MOTHER was supposed to have a key to our house b/c they so often took care of our cats when we (frequently) go out of town.

It sorta became evident that HE was carrying the key with him - b/c he was always so quick to call me & then go check on our house for this reason or that.

Like I said we USED to trust him.

EXAMPLE of presumption:
He had occasion to catch me out in the front yard, as so often happens.......and I became a little antsy, b/c he wanted to go into our garage w/his niece to get a basketball to play our front on our driveway.

He asked why our garage code had changed. I just sorta brushed it off. Then he asked had we had all the locks changed. I said yes.

***He then proceeds with a statement: You mean that key that my mom keeps on her table over there --- that key --- that key is no longer good?!.

And he watched for my reaction.

I just sorta agreed - but he was watching to see if I'd refute that ......ie. DID I KNOW that he actually carries OUR house key around w/him at all times - or did I really think his mother still kept it on a table at their house?

UGH. needless to say I'm trying to disengage from the guy. Avoid him at all costs now --- yet don't want to make an enemy. He still catches me out front or driving by on occasion.

Also - our cats often go into their yard -=---I don't know IF he'd harm them or not ----IF I was mean or no longer "seeing him"!?
Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006

Wow, as a Sub teacher, I BET you get exposed to all sorts of crazy things.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

I think I would just ignore the statements that you don't want to deal with, like you didn't hear them. If he asks something point-blank then you can use one of the suggestions that you got.

Is this the same guy that let himself into your house a few months ago, while your daughter was home alone? What ever happened about that? I guess you changed your locks and security code (and didn't give him a new key or code?) but did you ever contact the police or talk to his parents etc?

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