friend,enabler or complainer?
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friend,enabler or complainer?
| Wed, 11-17-2010 - 1:34am |
hello everyone! im new to ivillage so bare wit me.....i always make new friends but over time they(most) become dependent on me. i have no problem with listening to their problems or their life adventures. i try to give good advice when asked. i dont tell them wut they want to hear but wut i feel is correct and they have the choice to take the advice or throw out the window. if they have anything to talk about and i cant get to the phone they will call me several times a day(like 10x) to the point i think its an emergency and its usually NOT. i just want to know if im being a friend or a enabler.... or just stop complain ........if you need more description, let me know and i will elaborate more.....thanx
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From your post, my guess is you either attract needy people for some reason or else
Your post reminds me of what my post is somewhat about.... too funny!
I have come to the realization that alot of people want to hear what they want to hear (not what the truth really is!!) I am not that type of person that will tell a person what they want to hear and I give it straight from the heart... if you do not like what Im saying then dont ask.
I agree that for some reason, you're attracting needy people. When you make a new friend, from day one, you should not encourage the other person to lean on you so much. Once a needy person feels it's okay to call you ten times a day, they will. Needy people seem to have a difficult time distinguishing normal boundaries. When you try to pull back a little, they seem to grab hold of you even tighter and it becomes very difficult to pull away.
Hi,
Sounds like you have a good attitude toward the advice you give, i.e. take it or leave it. Sometimes I think the person who calls just wants someone to whine to -they really don't want to solve the problem they whine about. So here's my two cents:
Resign as
I just wanted to welcome you to the board!
That's what we're here for! :smileyhappy:
I read your post and I agree with all posters. In fact, I think they´re very good.
I used to be a complainer and a rescuer as well. Once a friend told me I was a complainer. I stopped complaining and also rescuing.
That´s it!
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