Frustrated with family

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2011
Frustrated with family
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:48am

I really need to vent and get some things off my chest.

My grandmother had a mountain cabin that we grew up going to, having family reunions there. The cabin was in the family snce before I was born. One of my Mom's sisters bought the cabin from my grandmother about 5 years ago, and it's been made well known that now we can't really consider it "family property" (althought it's funny, in the beginning, it was like, "don't worry, this is still considered our family cabin and you can come anytime you want!")

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 12:12pm

You are right, family life does not need to be at all dysfuctional.

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 12:56pm
So, it seems like you've always been treated this way--if that's the case, why would you expect it to magically change?
You seem to realize that you have the choice to go or not go. If you don't want to be around these people, then don't go.
You might be able to find another cabin or other friends for the upcoming weekend, but even if you don't you know you have the power to choose how you spend your weekend--that's the great part!
So, whatever you do, enjoy the weekend and the pride you have in yourself for respecting yourself and being respectful of others whether they return that or not.


Clinical Research Associate


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2011
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 1:39pm

Thanks Liz and Izzy.

That's the thing, I know without a doubt that I'll have a fantastic holiday spent without them!

I just find it so odd that even though as an adult I live in a well-developed happy life of my own where people see me for me and relate to me as an adult, they (family) are still stuck in bizarre dysfunctional ways of relating. So, anytime I catch strange wiffs from family which look unrepresentative/unsupportive of who I actually am and the way I interact with others in the life I've built for myself, it doesn't make me inclined to waste time with them.

Life is too short. I used to be stuck trying to work out relationships with them, but at my age (34), it's time to give up on that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 3:30pm

It is always possible that your aunt didn't see or accidentally deleted your email, or that it got caught in her spam filter, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2002
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 6:51pm
Are you sure she got your email? Is it an email address she would recognize? It might have got caught in her spam mail. You could double check the email address with your sister, because you know her emails get though. I know my email is at the end and people often try to send me something so I never get it.