Take it from a Grandmother that has a broken heart, get your son to an Attorney ASAP. She can leave the state and there isn't a Da*n thing your son can do! He needs to go after custody. NOW.
DCFS won't do anything. You child is to old. Sorry for the next few sentences. But, if your son doesn't do something about HIS child now, he probably doesn't want to be bothered. He needs to quit running home to you. If you want to help him to get custody then you need to lay down the law. Make things very clear to him. Example, If you and dear child want to live here, fine. But if you go back to her, all help stops. You can go live in a homeless shelter.
If your state allows record messages. If she sends DS nasty e-mails keep them. Give advise when ask for it. But otherwise, don't involve yourself. This is your son's mess. He needs to clean it up.
My son now really regrets not listening to me! He has 12 years till my DGS is 18 years old. By then DGS will be completely brain-washed.
Social services won't do a darn thing with a 17 y.o, short of outright physical or sexual abuse.
Next time that little thang threatens you, tell her "go ahead, that'll be a good time for me to tell them about you."
Good Answer! That should stop her in her tracks. Personally, I probably would call child protective services, if she's drinking as much as she does while taking care of a baby! Is she on meds? Alcohol and those kinds of meds don't mix.
As far as your son is concerned, if he is on board with getting custody of the baby, you want to start building your case now. Have him document everything with dates and times. If she does anything whacky, like calls you at 4:00 am, document that too. Call a lawyer and start this process asap.
I would definitely call DCFS on this crazy, alcoholic woman and have her investigated. It might mean the child is removed and placed in a foster home while the mother receives services for alcohol addiction. But wouldn't that be better for everyone involved?
Your son really needs to hire a lawyer to establish paternity and set up child support payments. He also needs to find his own place and stop running home to his mama every time he has a fight with his GF. No wonder this crazy woman sees you as the enemy.
While DCFS may not do anything regarding your 17yo DD should the gf call them, they will have it on file and it could come back at you if you were ever to need to gain custody of any of the grandkids in the future.
I agree you and DS need to document what is going on, contact an attorney and do whatever you can to protect that little one. If she is on a drunken bipolar rage and DS leaves he needs to take his child with him as the baby needs to be protected from the mom. And he needs to decide if that is how he wants to live his life, with a bipolar
Thanks to everyone for your support and advice.
DS is back over there!
I understand what you're going through. But our outcome was awful.. Son was with GF for 5 years. They have a son. She took off with G'baby. To another state. There was NOTHING my son could do to stop her. She had all the rights. He had NONE. She came back to our state for about 45 days and because my son had moved on and only wanted to see his son, she took off again. 2,000 miles away. I've not seen my Grandson for, coming up on three years, now. She will not allow any contact with my son. We really don't know where she is. We find her and she off and running again.
Yeah, he could move to Wyoming and try to get something done but she'd just take off again. Your son needs to either get custody or let go.
One piece of advice I'd hope you will follow thru with, Go talk to the Foster Parenting Program. That way if the cops ever get involved, you could get emergency custody of your Grandchild.
Good luck and hope things turn out better for you.
Your son has to decide once and for all that he's sick and tired of all this drama. Once he decides he wants to be done with her, he has to stop going back to her. Does he want custody of the baby?