guilty and confused
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|Sun, 10-12-2003 - 10:33am|
im 17 and i have never gotten on with my dad. I have always been extremely scared of him for some reason and i feel threatened and uncomfortable being around him. My parents are still together and i always get in trouble for being "rude" to my dad and i feel really bad about it but i dont know why i do it... i just get these major panic attacks when he comes into the room or trys to talk to me and i shut him out and can only manage short responses to his qeustions... i have never been able to have a conversation with him and i think everyone hates me because they think im so mean...
I have no idea why i react like this but i hardly remember anything from my childhood except that my teachers used to always send me to talk to people and draw pics of my family cos they thought i was being abused and i was always an extrememly anti social and shy child.
My mum said that when i hadnt started to talk yet i still refused to sit near my dad or even look at him... i used to cry and scream if i had to be alone with him and i became overly dependant on my mum. I am now emotionally distant from both my parents...
i dont really know wat kinda answers or replies im hoping to get but maybe just to know if anyone else knows anything that could help or if they had similar experiances?