guilty-Husband doesn't want to drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
guilty-Husband doesn't want to drive
3
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 12:58pm
My husband commutes to his job 5 days a week 80 miles round trip into downtown Los Angeles. On the weekends the last thing he wants to do is get in the car and drive. I totally understand that because I used to commute too. Now I'm a stay at home wife and enjoy taking care of us. We've had tentative plans to go visit my mom, some 300 miles away in 2 weeks. Her serious boyfriend and our friend is graduating w/ his masters degree. There will be a big party and we'll have to get a hotel because they'll be so many people at the house. Well, this mornig I found out that he couldn't find an available room. So now we're not going. I'm so sad. My mom is going to be super sad when she hears.... unless she has a deal on a room. But... I think even if we could find a room, my husband would still not want to make the drive on sat and come back sun and go to work on mon. I don't blame him, I just don't know how to deal with all THIS GUILT!!! Please help.... I'm dreading making the call to my mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 12:56am
Oh I know how torn you must feel - I hope you can find a way to go to the graduation with your husband and see your mom and her SO.

Have you considered going without him? Do you have another relative or a friend who would make the trip with you? I don't know how your husband would feel about it - mind would say, "sure - go ahead!" and make his own plans to go fishing or something while I'm away. As much as we love spending time together, it's also good for us to do some things apart.

How about flying? At least the two of you could fly there and back on the same day and not have to worry about booking a room, and he would get a break from the driving.

If none of this is possible or realistic for you, then I can only wish you the best when you call your Mom - I hope she understands and doesn't hold it against either of you.

Best of luck-

Msfit

                  &nbs

Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 10:35am
I think before I gave up all hope I would look around again. Sometimes there are cancelations at the last minute and things open up. Not thatyour DH didn't "look" but if he wasnt looking forward to the trip he may not have really looked looked know what I mean? I would check things out on my own and go from there. If you can't find anything call your mom and let her know. If I really wanted to go and be there I would. Whether DH wanted to go or not, I would ask a friend to travel with me or go it alone. Let us know what happens and if you can make it or not!! Until then~~~Michelle
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 10:35am
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the time you took to forward your advise. I feel so much better today, after exploring around the boards some more and speaking to my mom. Both excellent suggestions, however.... yeah, we pretty much do everything together, "we're a good team". and I haven't been to the airport since... and I'm not quite ready yet.... I finally called my mom and of course she understood. I was very happy. I know my problems probably seem silly, but I read another woman's post who said, "am I too sensative?" and I thikn that's how I am, very sensative!!! I wish my mom lived closer, but at least I got her to say, "well we'll come down there then!" so that was great!!

thanks again I REALLY appreciate it!

Shannon.