has anyone cut off ties from there family

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
has anyone cut off ties from there family
10
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 12:49pm

has any of you cut off ties from the your family for various reasons??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 1:44pm
Are you thinking about it?

It might be more helpful if you told us your story first.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 2:39pm
Yup. Cut all ties w/ my dad & 2 sisters about 4 years ago!!!

It was a matter of self-preservation!!! I finally began to demand to be treated as I deserved to be treated & not like a step-child!!! kwim???
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 10:45pm
Yes, with parents and sibiling now for three years. It was hard and once in awhile I'll think of them. Just wishing for it to be how it should be but overall I'm glad to have kept my ground and have respect for myself. As for my grandparents-- going on two months. Again, very hard but I know I'm way better off. It would be nice if my husband would be 100% supportive but he's really not. Do what is best for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Tue, 09-06-2011 - 3:43pm

bluepen......do you have neices and nephews...do they lay that guilt trip on you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 11:36am
Ours is a family with many estrangements. My step-brother has cut off everyone. Many have wandered away - not cut off, but after years of no contact, no one makes effort anymore. I and my siblings have cut off our step-mother, to protect our own sanity. Very long story there, look it up in my history if you're interested.

I suffer much grief over my step-mother. She was abusive all the time I was growing up, and transferred that abuse to my father for the next 30 years or so. I didn't know until the end what she was doing to him - not because I'd cut him off, but because she cut HIM off from his family so no one would know. He died indirectly as a result of that abuse. She is now elderly, lives alone (all of her family has cut her off as well), her children are either deceased or missing (that step-brother I mentioned), and she has no one. I mean no one. But I also know that inviting her back into my life would cause more turmoil than I'm willing to endure. I've taken enough. My father took more than enough. I am sorry for her, but I can do nothing. As long as she was healthy and self-sufficient, I had no problems with the no-contact - but now that she's suffering, it's hard to maintain. Hardest is forgiving myself, not sure I can do that.

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 12:01pm
Wow! Long time, no see. I've changed names a few times, but it's still zz. Do you remember me?

I'm not sure what you need to forgive yourself for.....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 2:28pm
Wow! Yes, I remember you! Long time no see, my friend! I can't stay right now for a longer message - have to run off to work. I'll be back later. ;)

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 3:32pm
I've thought of you often. And hoped you weren't upset with me that we couldn't stop that last day. The rest of the trip turned into a disaster, anyway, and 3 days after we got home, the car I towed up there was burned by arsonists.

I've missed you, and am glad you came back. I really am.

How is your stepson? The one injured in Iraq?

If all this is too much for you to post here, or answer, or if you even want to, you can pm me. I'm not trying to make your stuff public, I've just wondered about you so much. Are you still riding Harley's? See, there I go again with the questions!!

Down in the bottom folder Leta is a thread called Life Snippets. There's only a few of us that hang out and post there. If you, or anyone else, wants to drop in and let us know how you/they are doing, we would be thrilled. Everyone is welcome.

And, I like your new photo.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 6:47pm
I have often thought of cutting off ties with several family members. I am the youngest so I was an "accident". my family has always treated me as an accident as well. that is the reason why I would cut off ties.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 5:46pm
Oh, puzums, LOTS of us are accidents! Some of us came from even more tenuous welcomes into the world. Being an "accident" isn't the problem - the problem is whether you were accepted and loved in spite of making such a surprise appearance. If you were often told or made to feel that they wished you'd never been born, then by all means... cut off contact, yesterday ain't soon enough.

The "accident" isn't the problem. It's whether or not you were accepted and welcomed in spite of it.

I was also an accident, but was never treated as unwanted by my mother or father. My step-mother later, however, treated me no better than a disease she couldn't get rid of - even though my "accidental" conception had nothing whatsoever to do with her. I've cut off ties with her, but not with my other family who never rejected me.

What happened to you?

                  &nbs