Have Your Parents Been Disappointing Grandparents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Have Your Parents Been Disappointing Grandparents?
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 9:35am

Sometimes our parents -- no matter how great they were when we were kids -- are less-than-wonderful grandparents. Maybe they slack off when they're watching our kids. Or they constantly criticize our parenting decisions. Or they're absentee -- not even visiting their grandchildren!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 1:12pm

I don't have kids, but both of my sisters have dealt with my parents being too lax when baby sitting my nieces and nephews. I know my sisters have had conversations with both my parents about letting them stay up late, giving them too much junk food, etc... The talks actually worked, because some of the "fun" stopped. The last time we were at a ball game, my dad told my nephew, "you already had a hot dog and nachos. You can't have any more

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 8:07pm

My mother moved away when my kids were small - my daughter was about 6 and the others were 4 and 3.. My kids are now teenagers and we have all been fine, with lots of visits in between. She was never the greatest mother anyway, i never felt that she took such an interest in our lives anyway, more or less had kids and looked after our physical needs but was not capable to care for our emotional needs, so when they said they were moving out of town a few hours drive away, it seemed Ok. I dont take her move away personally, it was her decision to go away, even though she had 5 kids in the city.

My mother in law, on the other hand, was pathetic. She only took an interest in grandchildren when her daughter had some kids, about 8 years after mine were born. She has been the biggest dissapointment because she has shown such favouritism, its sickening. My attitiude is what comes around, goes around - my kids NEVER phone her to say hello, they take NO interest in her and neither do I. She would never offer to help us, and would happily spend all of her free time shopping for, cooking and cleaning up after daughters kids, and when i would occasionally ask her to help me, there was usually a NO, I cant because I have to help " DD" children or she would rebuff me for expecting her to help me. She would often turn around and tell me to ask my mum to help, if I needed help. She said she loves

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 6:55pm

My mother is not a grandparent by any stretch of the imagination. She has not seen my kids in almost two years! My kids are 7 and 3. She is only 40 mins from me. I consider us estranged. If anything ever happened to me I wouldn't even want her to pay her respects because she would just be a hypocrite. She doesn't have any contact with us. She sends no birthday cards. She doesn't even know when my dds bdays are. The only time we did see her was briefly at my aunt's bbq. I've tried on occassion to make contact and I get her voicemail. I leave a message and she never calls. I believe she has a mental illness. I also believe she is an alcoholic. I think my children, myself and my spouse are better off without contact being that she's so toxic. She has more contact with my brother (who is in prison!) than with her dd who never asked anything from her except her love. At this point I've given up having a relationship with her. I try to keep my kids busy w/activities. We have a great church and school family. My children have lots of friends. I have a wonderful aunt/uncle who stay involved.