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|Fri, 07-11-2003 - 12:25pm|
I am truly hoping someone can help me. Please, no mean or hurtful emails. I am hurting enough.
My best girlfriend of 10 years (I am 33) is truly a sister to me. Her children call me "Auntie" and my daughter calls her Auntie as well. We also worked together for the past ten years until I just changed jobs a few weeks ago. We have been use to seeing one another almost every day for ten years, until two weeks ago.
We are truly family and I love her with all my heart as a sister. We spend every holiday together and are together with our kids every weekend...we are almost inseperable.
For the past 2.5 years she was having serious marital problems. I asked if I could speak to her husband about some of the serious issues they were having, since she was not getting anywhere with him. She said sure. I had several conversations with him trying to get him to see her point of view and I filled her in on what I had said.
She was very unhappy and had an affair. Of course, I never told him. That affair ended and she began another one about 1 year ago.
Her husband called me and asked if I would please help him and be a source of advice and be a friend to him to help with their problems. I agreed to be a source of advice for him. I wanted to see my friends avoid a second divorce. I did not want her kids to go through another divorce. They are only 3 and 9.
I talked to her husband...who is like my brother in law, for about 8 months, frequently. Mostly on the phone...sometimes in person when he picked up or dropped off my nephews. Sometimes he tried to reach me daily...many times we could not connect.
The problem here: I did not tell my best friend I was talking to him. I knew she would not want me to, she would not want me to try and help because he should do this on his own...also, she is a very jealous person and may not want me talking ot her husband...but I thought I just had to do something to try and save their marriage...she had given up on talking to him about it. I thought it was my job as her friend and sister to try and help save this marriage.
Bottom line - she looked at the phone bill and noticed how often he was calling me, and that I never told her. She nows says I betrayed her and she cannnot trust me. She won't speak to me and said she cannot accept what I did.
All I did was try to help her family, her kids and her marriage...how can I get her to understand this? I did NOT BETRAY HER. I love her with all my heart. She is my sister.
She will not speak to me, see me. She says I lied to her. I truly did not, and I never ever htought I would hurt her.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I do not have other close friends. I love her and want to repair this friendship..I never meant to hurt her, I truly thoght I was helping!!!!!!