HELP! MOOCHING AUNT!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
HELP! MOOCHING AUNT!!
2
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 12:57pm
This has been brewing for a little while, and I'm totally frustrated/worried about it! Here's the deal. My mom's sister moved in with her about a year ago. My aunt has now totally taken over the house! She is a total packrat and has her stuff all over the place. She was in her own apartment, but then lost her job (due to downsizing). Then she got another job, but got fired b/c she was late too many times. She has been holding out for "the perfect job" now for about 3 mos.! Now, she says that she is moving to another state to try and get a job (she has a friend there that she seems to think can help her, and I think she thinks this lady is going to let her live with her--she's married, has a child, and thinks that this is just a visit!) She said that she wanted to have a garage sale and sell a bunch of her stuff, but what she's actually been doing is sleeping until about 2:00 p.m. and then jumping up (Mom gets home at about 3-3:30 from work) and piddles around and then sometimes goes shopping (as if she has the money and like she really needs to bring more stuff into the house) so Mom will think she's been doing something (this has been witnessed by my 33-year old brother who has also moved back home--but has a job)! Well, she then got frustrated b/c her stuff wasn't selling, so she's thrown a bunch of it out. But, she still has 2 storage units full of stuff she's renting, a camper (just so happens to be parked in Mom's backyard!), 2 cars (that are on their last legs due to neglect), 1 dune buggy (that she apparently has somebody wanting to buy), not including all of the junk in the house and garage! Now, I wouldn't call my mom a pushover, but that she just has more patience than the average person. Here's a little background on my aunt: she's 57, has always had a man in her life to take care of her, was babied my my grandparents, has no savings, is a recovering alcoholic (has been sober) and is diagnosed as manic depressive (but has been taking her medicine). She is the most scattered-brained person I know! She can just totally drop everything, and just drive to a store (with all of that junk she has already sitting there), and decide to go to some art store, and decide that she's going to by an art kit or whatever and paint (did this last week)! My mom has told her several times that she needs to get a job (even if it's not the perfect one!), save money, sell her junk, etc., but she keeps making these plans and then never follows through! I think that she might go to another state, but it won't last and then she'll be back! She has 2 children, but they don't want anything to do with her unless she has money or gifts for them. What should I do? My mom said that it is her sister, she knows how she is, and is handling it. Should I confront my aunt? Her kids? Stay out of it? I'm sick of my mom having to deal with it, but when I look at it from the outside, I'm glad that my mom isn't alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 5:26pm
I hate to say it but I think this is between ur mom & ur aunt. I am sure u feel like I do, u would be kicking ur aunt out ASAP if she didn't get her act together and get some kind of job and help out :-) If the junk is really bothering ur mom, maybe she could suggest ur aunt finds a storage unit for it. I know if I was staying w/ my family members after I had my own houseful of junk I would try to just bring the bare min. (but it doesnt sound like ur aunt is that kind of person ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:07pm
I agree. Your Mom told you she is handling it, so let her handle it. You could chat to your Mom and see if she needs your help, but if she says she doesn't then I would keep out of it.