How much help would you offer?
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| Tue, 06-17-2003 - 11:58pm |
My sister married a man, knowing he was an alcoholic and wouldn't work. They have a 4 YO girl together. Since this man has refused to change, she has decided to divorce him.
My sister makes $2000.00 a year too much for help with day care, per the government. She works 6 days a week, 60+ hours, all weekends and holidays, some overnights. On her day off, she occasionally has mandatory meetings she has to attend. She could demote herself, but she would lose all of her benefits and make significantly less than the $2000.00 it would take for her to qualify for day care help, thus, not making it cost effective.
Anyway, here is where I enter the picture. She has asked me if I can babysit for free as I am self-employed, make my own hours, and work approximately 25-30 a week. Most of the family lives out of town, except for a grandmother who is still working full-time, so there would be no help that way.
My typical babysitting schedule would look like this:
Mondays - Noon to 11 p.m.
Tuesdays - off (except when she has meetings)
Wednesday through Sunday - 6:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
All holidays - 8 to 10 hours
One overnight a month
I ask - WHEN am I supposed to work myself when I am babysitting all the time, these hours? Not to mention, I have two children of my own ages 12 and 8 who need my time and attention also. Plus, I am not used to having to watch children "like a hawk" all the time because my kids are older now, but you have to with a 4 YO.
My sister's only alternative is to sell her house and move in with our mom (the one who works full-time) so she can afford day care.
So let me ask all of you this - how much help would you offer if you were in this situation?
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Another option would be to tell her that you will do free sitting for a specific length of time after which you will start charging $X/week or she has to find someone else.
Sara
If I were in your situation, I would split the babysitting - offer to babysit during the hours when regular day care is NOT available. You would babysit three days (Sat, Sun, and after 4:30 on Mondays), Tuesday meetings when they come up, one overnight once a month, and the occasional holiday when you do not have other plans. She would have to find day care for Mon afternoons and Wed, Thur, Fri. Maybe Mondays would be negotiable, since the extra half day might make her day care bill the same as a full week.
In addition, isn't this child ready for Head-Start in the fall?
You said her only other alternative is to sell the house and move in with Mom. Well, that sounds drastic, but as I see it: she currently puts more importance on her mortgage payments than the welfare of her daughter. Doesn't seem like there's any question at all. SELL the house and/or find a different job with better hours, NOT find a free babysitter so she can have both.
The question here is not whether you should offer free babysitting - it is whether you should enable her to keep her mortgage and her ungodly work hours at the expense of her daughter's care, or stand up for your niece and make your sister face her choices and priorities in life.
Best of luck to you!
Msfit
&nbs