huge fight with a (best) friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
huge fight with a (best) friend.
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 1:25am
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 11:39am
On those few details, I'd advise you to apologize and move on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 1:33pm

Her defensiveness sounds to me as if she got caught in a lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 2:04pm

Or maybe the friend was really sick, and she got ticked off at someone telling her how angry this kind of stuff has made her in the past.... repeatedly.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 3:40pm

I would simply make it simple.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 09-03-2011 - 11:54am
I just wanted to second Sadie's reply...very good advice.
Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sun, 09-04-2011 - 7:00am
I have to point out that every time I've had the flu, I was in no condition to be getting ticked off at anyone and having a big argument. Which makes me suspect that she was at least exaggerating (maybe she just has a cold) or maybe even flat out lying about being sick. But you can't accuse her of that because you don't know for sure.

I would just say "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was angry that you had to cancel - I would never want you to drag yourself out to see me when you have the flu. Please accept my apology for the misunderstanding." Stop telling her you were "disappointed" because it sounds like she's taking that as you being disappointed IN HER rather than disappointed that you didn't get to spend time with her. If she still has a problem with it even after you've apologized, I would say it's not worth fighting for. I know from experience that when you move a large distance, you don't remain best friends with the people you left behind anyway. You may stay in contact but you will drift apart eventually and you will not remain as close. You can't have the same expectations of your friendship with her that you once did. I agree with sillysadie that it's possible she has already accepted this and moved on and felt that a white lie about being sick would spare your feelings.

If she accepts your apology for the misunderstanding, put it behind you and keep in touch but remember that you can't expect her to be your best friend when you are not in each other's everyday lives anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2011
Tue, 09-06-2011 - 6:08am

Wow, do I ever feel your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 11:13pm
It seems like she got really mad because (as someone pointed out) she got caught in a lie, or she was sick with the flu and was really pissed that you made her feel lousy when she couldn't come out when she really couldn't.

You should try to put this behind her, but you you'll probably have suspicions and doubts about this situation all the time.

She was mad as well, she might have spoken out of heat of the moment and unintentianlly trying to hurt you because you got her so mad.

But give her a change to prove herself wrong or confirm what kind of person she really is next time (or couple of times you have plans). Always keep this situation in the back of your mind and hopefully you'll see what kind of person she really is - it all comes out eventually.