Huge Vent: 20-year old unemployed/unmarried niece is pregnant

Avatar for isstuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Huge Vent: 20-year old unemployed/unmarried niece is pregnant
6
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 4:20pm

Let me first begin by saying this is a huge vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010

Hi IS Stuck -

Its great to vent - isnt it !

It sounds like you have made up your mind and you plan on sticking to to your words. Obviously you feel for your father, and I think this is the issue that you need to focus on. Youve decided on writing off your older sister and family, so perhaps this is where to start. The focus is your dad, his carers and meals getting to him.

I guess you will make the arrangements with the other siblings and org to make sure he is properly cared for.

Your sister and her dead end family just that. Is hard to let go, but you ahve other siblngs, your mum and dad

Avatar for isstuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003

Hi Sultanofswing -

Yes, it is good to vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010

Your sister and her attitude to just about everything will always be a thorn in your side.. You decided long ago to better yourself and change from where you grew up.. she didnt, so her response to life will always be different from yours. Neither of you should really judge the other, you live your life and whatever she decides for herself, its her choice and she lives that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

I understand the need to sometimes vent, and I'm glad you realize that no matter what you try to do, you're not going to change anybody...and that you're not going to allow yourself to be guilted into the whole what about the baby argument.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Is,

Hi. One question for you: Does someone responsible in your family have power of attorney for your father? If not, I'd suggest you get that done ASAP. Your father needs to be protected in his old age, especially if he's getting dementia and failing health. It's best to set up POA over his financial AND medical decisions. That way if he fails mentally he won't be able to give his whole SSN check to your deadbeat sister and his family if they ask. A POA can also pay the bills, etc. so nothing gets forgotten, etc.

Good luck.

Avatar for isstuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003

wisdomtooth -

You bring up an excellent point on a POA.