hurt SIL's feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
hurt SIL's feelings
14
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 6:18pm

Hi,

Well, I don't know how I finally got on here, but I've been having a great deal of trouble signing in.  I went about it a different way and here I am finally!

So, I will try not to bore you with a really long story.  Here goes.  My family likes to communicate by e-mail, all except my one brother and sister-in-law.  They never check their e-mail at home.  (Like ever)  My SIL used to check it at work, but since she retired about 6 months ago, now it has been impossible to communcate with them by e-mail.  I end up having to call them when I need an answer to something after weeks of getting no response from them.  Well, the "last straw" so to speak was when my husband tried to plan me a nice surprise 50th birthday party.  He contacted everyone by e-mail.   Many family and friends came, so that was great!  But of course,  brother and SIL didn't come because they didn't read the e-mail.  They claimed their modem died.  Wow, what incredibly bad timing!  Always some excuse!  I'm fed up!   I vented in an e-mail to my sister and she blabbed to SIL that I was annoyed about them not checking their e-mail and now brother and SIL are pissed at me!!!!   My brother called me VERY upset that I  was talking about his wife and that he should be the one I should be mad at and that e-mail just "isn't his thing."  Well, this is the first I've heard in all these years (they had an e-mail address before we did, we've had one for like 14 years)  that he didn't like doing e-mails.  Anyhow, I know I was wrong to vent to my sister, but did she have to tell?  AND do they need to be so upset over this?  I don't see it as that big of a deal!  Just tell me/us you don't want to communicate by e-mail and how do you want us to communicate with you??   I also got an e-mail from SIL saying I need to explain my behavior and that she is very hurt.  Hurt by what??  Just because I'm frustrated that they don't check e-mail?  REALLY??   What do you guys think? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 12:58pm

I just caught your last line, about being "tied to your computer" No one expects them to do that.   Once a week might be nice.  Once a week would have been sufficient to get the invite to my party.  My husband works full-time, with a one hour commute each way, and we also have a part-time farm.  When does he have time to hand-address, stuff envelopes, and stamp 30 some invitations????  Plus have it be a surprise?  Give me a break.  My not checking e-mail, they will inevitably be left out of things. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 12:35am

I'm confused.  You indicated in the beginning of your post that they never, ever check their e-mail and you have to call them every time you need a response from them. Then at the end of your post you say this is the first time you're hearing that e-mail is not their thing?  If you were aware they didn't check their e-mail , why weren't they called about the birthday party?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 12:45am

Well, if it's too much trouble for you to take the few seconds to make one phone call, maybe it's not that important to you either that they attend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 11:08am

O.K., looks to me like you didn't read all of the posts.  This was a SURPRISE party for me, so I couldn't call people.  Since it was a surprise, my husband couldn't be calling people from home (doesn't have time at work) otherwise it wouldn't have been a surprise!   My husband tried very hard to pull this off, and it was a success because everybody else checked their e-mail!!!!   Only ones that didn't know about were my brother and SIL that don't check their e-mail.

Anyhow, just thought I'd check back here because it appears they may have gotten on the e-mail train.  We recently announced the birth of our granddaughter and they responded right away.  This is good!! 

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