Husband dislikes family.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Husband dislikes family.....
3
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 11:22am
My husband prides himself on the importance of family but look at this....

For some odd reason my husband has shut out MY family after boasting about how important family is to him. Does he mean his family alone?? I feel so alone and hurt how he never wants to join my family at any given time. He tells me to go spend time with MY family. He refers to his family as mine too but why is mine just mine and not his as well?? I had to literally beg him and drag him to see my mom on Mother's day and forget Father's day, he never came. It not only hurts me but it hurts my family as well. They've tried so hard to be nice to him, offered dinners, get togethers, etc. and he shuns them like their diseased. My parents wanted us all to go to the beach four the fourth of July and I brought it up he said he'd think first, next day wanted to bring his 2 close friends, third day his friends conviced him to go to Panama City. I tried so hard to get him to go to the beach w/my family and now this???? I feel like I was backstabbed and my idea for togetherness blew up in my face like a nuclear bomb! When his mother was here he was about to make me stay w/my parents the whole time so she could have a bed but when it comes to mine....

What can I do? I love him but he dosen't seem to like my family and I can't figure out why!

We are also newlyweds if that helps. Please tell me this will pass!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 8:49pm
I am inclined to ask if your family has different ethnic backgrounds which might prevent them from communicating clearly. In this case, teach him the language, and he can adjust with time. If this is not the case, and since you are newlyweds I think now is the time to confront this issue before it becomes habit. I would start by asking him, "when your family invites me to spend time with them, should I say no since you don't spend time with mine?" He should get the point after you say this, but don't say it with a bad atitude or when either of you are in a bad mood.

hope this works.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 12:34am
Do you have any idea why he wouldn't like your family? And have you asked him why he doesn't want to see your family? Was this a problem before you got married or is it a new situation? Maybe more details would help us......

Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 11:49am
This is actually a new situation that has occurred and speaking of the second post these isre some interracial issues here. Maybe he just does not like Americans other than me. I don't see why he would think that since my family has been so nice. On the other hand he has gotten rather mean lately.