To hyphenate or not to hyphenate?
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To hyphenate or not to hyphenate?
| Tue, 04-24-2012 - 1:20pm |
I am getting married in 3 months. This understandably leads to many questions and opinions. One of the first questions I was asked after our engagement was from my parents about whether or not I would hyphenate my last name. I know there are a million opinions on this issue but I am a firm believer that it is completely up to the couple involved. In my opinion, a hyphenated last name doesn't fit with my personality. I like the idea of being Mr. and Mrs. Blank.
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San
This decision is entirely your's to make.
That's an interesting thing for your mom to say. You didn't state your grandfather's age but I'm guessing that he is from a generation that assumed and expected that, upon marriage, a woman took her husband's last name. And when your parents' generation started hyphenating last names at marriage the older generation thought it was weird. Maybe he's embraced the newer way of thinking, but this is probably your mom's idea and she's using grandpa for leverage.
It's true, they are hurting right now... but so are you. Have they stopped to consider how difficult it must be for YOU to be planning a wedding and getting married while your grandfather is suffering from cancer? No, they just carry right on trying to push you into something you don't want. Why are YOU the only one trying to be sensitive to everyone else's feelings? Why can't they be sensitive to yours?
Now I'm not saying you should go all Bridezilla on them but this IS supposed to be "your time". The people closest to you should be thinking about your happiness and instead they are thinking about their own agendas. You're a wonderfully selfless person to be putting their feelings before yours but if there was ever a time to allow yourself to put your own feelings first... it's now.
Genealogical Musings
I agree with the others -- don't hyphenate if you don't want to.
My DW's situation was that she had no brothers, no male cousins to "carry on the family name".
The next time your mother brings it up, just tell her, if she wanted the family name to be carried on, she should have had a son!
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
. -Albert Einstein
Do what YOU want!