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|Tue, 09-02-2003 - 12:12pm|
My son and his ex and their daughter lived together for some years. About 4 years ago, the mother started going off on trips to Chile. Her parents came from there but she was born here. Anyway, first the trips were two months and then extended to 3 months and last October she left for a year or so. It turned out she had a boyfriend in Chile - in a very small city. She came back for 3 weeks or a month in May and then left again, the story was she was getting married. My granddaughter did not hear from her until about 3 weeks ago and that was on MSN. My granddaughter said her Mom said she was coming back but she didn't believe her. She never turned up on the date she said, so my granddaughter was right.
My son has been there for his daughter since the day she was born, whereas the mother was always off out with her friends and constantly lets my granddaughter down. She will make plans with her and then at the last minute if something more appealing comes up, like coffee with a friend, she will cancel her plans with my granddaughter, which understandably upsets my granddaughter no end. Then she goes off for a year - her choice! Nobody made her go. Nobody made her sell her car. Nobody made her spend all her money and come back broke.
My granddaughter is now 10. Although when her Mom is gone its kind of out of sight out of mind, and she will make comments like "My Mom was stupid to sell her car. She must have known she would need it again." When her Mom was back for those few weeks, she stuck up for her Mom and made a fuss if my son wouldn't give her Mom money etc. etc. One day she told me "my Dad is the most important person in my whole life" I said, well then, why did you stick up for your Mom and not your Dad? And she said "it was becuase I knew she was going away again."
My theory is - what goes around comes around - my son and I are both furious that she would treat her daughter like this. Going away and not bothering to phone or get in touch. I suppose its kind of vindictive of me, but I honestly hope and think that when my granddaughter gets a bit older, she will see her mother for the selfish person she is and her mother by her behaviour will have burnt her bridges with her daughter. Or do you suppose that when (and if) her mother ever shows up again, she will forget about how she treats her and act like she never went away??
Anybody have any experience with this kind of thing?