First - to those I know, sorry I've been MIA lately.
Wow... As a mom, I dont get how one could treat their own child like that...
That being said, I don't think you sound silly at all.
I ditto what Helga said.
Hugs to you.
I guess we differ on whether to continue to invite her or not.
I'm guessin it's just me, but, I don't get this "upset" about B'day parties.
"Well, we've noticed that you don't make it to our important events and so we've stopped putting you in the uncomfortable position of having to decline.".
I really like that!
She could not pick up the phone when MIL calls to ream her out for not inviting her. At family gatherings, she could just walk away from her. If the MIL follows her around trying to confront her, she will look like an idiot. Everyone will see she is trying to lure OP into an argument and OP isn't biting.