I hate my MIL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
I hate my MIL!
25
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 1:53am

First - to those I know, sorry I've been MIA lately.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 3:29am

Wow... As a mom, I dont get how one could treat their own child like that...


That being said, I don't think you sound silly at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 8:48am

I ditto what Helga said.

Hugs to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 8:57am

Don't bother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 9:01am

I guess we differ on whether to continue to invite her or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 9:56am

I'm guessin it's just me, but, I don't get this "upset" about B'day parties.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 10:22am

"Well, we've noticed that you don't make it to our important events and so we've stopped putting you in the uncomfortable position of having to decline.".

I really like that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 11:35am
I think the only reason I didn't suggest that OP stop inviting her...is that ... ignorning her may be just as bad as confronting her!! KWIM? If you throw out there, we're having a party...knowing she's not gonna come...then you're not surprised when she doesn't. BUT if you don't include her & it gets back to her...there may be hell to pay!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 1:57pm

She could not pick up the phone when MIL calls to ream her out for not inviting her. At family gatherings, she could just walk away from her. If the MIL follows her around trying to confront her, she will look like an idiot. Everyone will see she is trying to lure OP into an argument and OP isn't biting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:06am
Thanks everyone for your replies. Honestly, I probably won't call her out because, a) I'm not a fan of conflict, and b) it would do more harm than good. She wouldn't "get it", she would just use it as another excuse that I'm argumentative and "trying to tear her family apart". Like I said, there's a long, long list of crazy behind this post.

I asked DH on the phone today if he had invited his parents to our family dinner this Friday (DD's actual birthday) and his reply was "no, and I hope you don't either". Guess that answers my question. I'm going to spend the weekend focusing on DD, DH, and my family, who love all of us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:12am
Ohearto- I agree with you, to a point. If DH's mother lived far away, or gave us polite RSVPs, I would be fine with it. However, DH's parents literally live 1.5 blocks from us, and rather than just say "I can't make it", MIL either makes up crazy lies, or when she does tell us the truth it's just as heartbreaking for my DH. For instance, she doesn't want to come to Easter at our house this year, because she's spending it with one of her girlfriends, and her family who literally live within blocks of us as well, because she really wants to see their kids Easter egg hunt. Could you, as a grandma, imagine going to a friend's house, within walking distance of your child's house, on a holiday, instead of spending the day with your own family? That's the kind of stuff that floors me...

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