I hope this doesn't spoil Christmas
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|Tue, 12-23-2003 - 6:25pm|
Anyway, she emailed my granddaughter before she came back and asked her to go to another city with her to visit her parents because she had nowhere to go for Christmas. So I invited her here for Christmas. At the time she said then she wouldnt be going away. My son was here this afternoon and, as happened before, my granddaughter is now kind of "ganging up" with her mother against him. He said that his daughter now says that she is going away with her mother after Christmas. He was understandably upset. He took holidays over Christmas to spend time with his daughter, and now her mother shows up and she says she is going away with her. I know he feels that her mother is a piece of c**p for preferring to spend time with this boyfriend rather than her daughter, but his daughter, being only 10, doesnt see things that way.
So, we go Christmas shopping. We get to the store and my son says "go in with Grandma and show her where she gets that gift certificate". "No, I dont want to". Stays sitting in the back of my car with her mother. We get to another store. Again he says "come on - let's go into the store" Again she says no. My son drove my car back to my house. Got out. Got into his car and drove away leaving the ex and his daughter standing on the sidewalk. So I drove them home. I did talk to her on the phone after and I said that she could have done what her Dad asked and it would have avoided him getting upset. But of course, the two of them are just being b**ches and she just said her Dad was being a baby and would get over it.
Now, I talked to my husband and we can handle things. We are adaptable - if my granddaughter goes away after Christmas, we will do things that don't involve her and it will be fine. My son doesn't see things that way. He is very sensitive. His daughter is his whole world. I have tried to tell him that 10 year olds don't see things the way adults do. I said "if you think your daughter is going to be talked into going away - then just pretend its fine with you - otherwise it looks like your ex has won". He just got upset!
I know that both he and I know that his daughter has inherited quite a bit of her mother bi*chiness!! I don't totally understand why she sides with her mother. I honestly think if her Mom got mad and said she wasn't coming for Christmas - my granddaughter would stay home with her Mom!! I kind of think her Mom works on her and makes her feel guilty, but you wouldn't guess that from the way my granddaughter behaves - she just behaves like her Mom is the favourite.
I wonder if there is anything I can say to him - I know he feels like his daughter is kind of betraying him - he was the one who was always there for her - and now her mother comes back and right away she is on her mother's side.
Edited 12/23/2003 6:36:50 PM ET by lizwil98