I loaned money and now friendship about to end. Need advice :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
I loaned money and now friendship about to end. Need advice :-(
10
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 8:07am

Hi, I need some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
I would NOT tell her not to pay you back! I would move on. You may or may not get it back but you have to forgive yourself and live your life. If you get it back so be it but either way don't fret over it anymore.

As a side note this person isn't your true friend.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

Well, to me $500 is a chunk of money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002

I'll sleep on both responses, but I know i have to let it go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002

well, come to think of it, i do have everything via text message....i did that just so that there would be no misunderstanding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
JUDGE JUDY!!
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

I would not tell her that the debt is forgiven but I would try to let go of the anger and hurt. Figure that you learned your lesson (again) and chalk it up to life. Stay friends with her if you want or drop her, whichever feels more right to you. She probably doesn't bring it up because she is embarrased by her behavior, but not enough to pay you. IMO you are the one with the "power" because you can choose to be benevolent or harsh--you could take her to small claims court if you wanted to. You have no reason to feel ashamed like she does, and that will continue as long as you take the high road. So if you want it closed, then close it in your mind and heart.

We loaned my dh's sister more than you loaned your friend, to pay her ds' tuition. She was going to repay it when her dh got his holiday bonus---in 2010! Here it is 2012 and we haven't seen a penny. She's said something twice about being sorry for not repaying us yet, and we see her several times a year at family events. For us its not worth it to hold a grudge or make a bunch of drama over it (which would suck in the IL's that love drama) so I told dh that I'm just glad that we could help our nephew, even if he doesn't know that we contributed to his tuition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008

I can really relate to this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002

Well, she sent me a text stating that she was expecting a ck that she finally received but it will take 2 wks to clear (why so long I don't know).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004

How this would play out in my world, doesn't mean I am right, its just what would happen.....

I would no longer contact her. The amount woudl be forgiven and I woudl not ask her for it again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004

Good final point. Never again lend money to a friend because you lose the money and you lose the friend.