i shouldn't feel this way but i do

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
i shouldn't feel this way but i do
31
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 12:57pm

I really wish I could enjoy being around my parents but I simply don't. The older I get, the less tolerance I have for their behavior and often narrow, sometimes even bigoted, view of the world. They always want me to visit them on the weekend, but the visits amount to nothing but listening to them go off on politics as they try to hammer their "correct" opinions into my head. I'm in my mid-thirties, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. Life is too short for being angry at the world. When I try to excuse myself-- I have no desire to join their debates-- they immediately jump on me, saying, "aha, see you know we're right, so you're uncomfortable, that's why you're leaving and avoiding the discussion!"

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:33pm
I get the close-minded but nasty is a bit judgmental on the few facts here. She doesn't have to be around them if she doesn't want to but she did say they weren't bad people. I think ckf_3 was trying to suggest how one could ignore their behaviour & still engage with them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 6:30pm

I would try to visit them when there is an activity or try to plan an activity when you stay w/ them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 6:51pm

Perhaps nasty is a slight misnomer - extremely negative and toxic might be more accurante.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 8:09am

I appreciate everyone's feedback on this. The situation is really not easy to deal with, especially around the holidays. It's at the point where holidays feel like more of a depressing chore than fun events. Every dinner has become a one-sided argument over politics and how awful the world has become. I know they love me,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 11:04am

The only solution is to not spend so much time with them.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 1:39pm

"I don’t think OP is looking for assurances about her parents’ love for her." That's funny, I don't recall directing my response to you, nor do I ever recall feeling the need to "school" you on any of your previous responses, as they did not pertain to me. Just as she "may" have not been looking for assurances, nor am I...Have an awesome day, Azure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 3:10pm
No need to be so defensive. It's showing in more than this thread...

We're not here to fight, but to discuss. I didn't find anything offensive in her post. I think there's a saying about if one is looking for a fight, they can always find one. Something like that.

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:01pm

Cat, darling, this isn't a debate board. I think we all know how it works. Individuals come here to vent, and then, some of us try to give respectful, sage advice. You (on another thread) and Azure took my response to someone else, and decided to pick it apart. Then, in your case (again, on another thread), I stand my ground, and respectfully reply to you, indicating that, thanks but no thanks, I stand firm with my original thought, and somehow that turns into my attempting to "look for a fight" or "have a spat" with you. Um, yeah, that makes total sense. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:12pm

You keep getting more defensive.

Probably time to take a break.

Edited because I had a Freudian slip.

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:14pm
Pshhhhhh....you are too funny.