I *thought* things were getting better

Avatar for luvincowgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I *thought* things were getting better
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:50pm

I just got a phone call this morning that I am trying not to let ruin the rest of Christmas for me.

My mom has never liked my fiance. She is convinced that he's gay, and she thinks I'm in a dangerous relationship. I met him online over 2 years ago, met him in person almost exactly 2 years ago. I have never felt threatened by him in any way, and we have a great relationship.

For Thanksgiving, DF and I went to visit with my dad's family, and it seemed that things went really well. My mom gave DF a hug, and everyone seemed civil. I was very happy after leaving there.

This past weekend, my fiance and I went to my uncle's house on Saturday and my grandma's

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 11:55pm

Sounds like you are doing all you can to keep the peace and still stand up for what you believe in and your rights. You go, girl! It's too bad Mom and her co-horts can't let go enough to trust your choices. Now we all know families, esp. mothers, can be that way about their little girls. No one will ever be good enough for you, even if he's the Pope himself.

My sister is that way with me... long story, short version: My mom was bedridden for a year after my birth (the pregnancy


Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 7:31pm
I would have advised you to stay off online boyfriends. BUT, since you know his family and you've met them, take your FEELINGS and keep them to yourself.

As far as your parents, THEY NEED TO GROW UP, they're being controlled by your grandma, for one thing, they're very close to her and your mom needs to grow up. How can you grow up if you're living next to your own mother, where's the freedom there? OK, enough said. You're stressed out, and I understand, with everyone clawing at you on both directions. You can't breath, and you're being suffocated with worries.

You go ahead with your married plans, if your parents want to support you, fine, if not, THEIR LOSE. (sorry for bad grammer).

If it turned out your fiancee is another one of those scumbags, then it's your mistake to make, and you'll learn from it. For your dad to be one nice father one minute and talking like a macho cop another minute, shows he's GOT POWER OVER YOU also, and I'm sure he talks like that to your mom. Let him know, who's got more power. Don't let him stop you. If you need to, I agree marry without your parents' support.

Edited 12/24/2003 11:29:48 PM ET by leslie2353